"This can't happen again, I won't survive it again!" was my cry to the universe after I had been raped for the 3rd time in my life. I was 36, it had been 18 years since it had last happened, 22 years since it first happened. I thought I was done with that story long ago. I was living a synchronistic life, a business woman, things always worked out magically for me, then Bam! It happened again. I felt broken, but not too broken to recover. This time. It couldn't happen again. I wouldn't survive it. I knew that deep in my heart. I knew that something had to change & I knew that something had to be me. I had flown away from my abusive family, to live on the other side of the world. I had followed my spiritual calling. I was helping lots of people to heal. My heart was open. I was making a difference. I didn't know how I had manifested this again but I knew that I needed to find out so that I could release it. I didn't tell anyone about the first rape, there was nobody safe to tell. I told a couple of close friends about my second rape, but I had been to visit a court just weeks before it happened & I had witnessed the victim being abused even more in the court room. I knew that I could never do anything about it without even more pain inflicted on myself. But this time it was different, I knew that I would kill myself if it happened again, this time it was a matter of survival. I needed to tell someone who could do something about it. I needed to do something about it. I told the police. They had a counsellor contact me to help me through the next stages, it was the help that I needed all along. I would not recommend anyone go through the court process, unfortunately, it still is a terrible ordeal where you are abused again, only this time in a room full of people who should know better. The system is loaded to protect the perpetrator & to belittle the victim. But I would highly recommend the counselling because this is what I found: I had grown up in an abusive household of alcoholics. This made me accept abuse as normal. I had no capacity to discern a dangerous person from a safe person. I was open to anyone. I had no boundaries. Even the spiritual teachings I was following had me seeing the best in everyone & thinking that this would protect me. It didn't. I was taught life skills by my counsellor, she taught me what is acceptable, what isn't, she taught me how to take control of ongoing abusive relationships, how to have boundaries to protect my feelings, to protect myself. We did role playing so that it became my new normal. I had to unlearn a lifetime of being taught to accept everyone & everything, but with the right support I did it. The abusers that I had an ongoing relationship with were suddenly scared of my new empowered energy & they backed away out of my life, without even having to say the things that I had practised with my counsellor. It was working! Next I had to change my story. My story was one of the victim overcoming, of the phoenix rising. My story was all about healing from the old story. Even my business was all about that too. Yesterday my tattoo was finished, it's a phoenix. The time was right to have this reminder of the story that I have left behind. Because there has to be an end to it. There has to be a new story. A new story has to take its place for the healing to be completed. I am no longer living the story of the abused one who overcame, that story has ended now & they all lived happily ever after. I am now starting to live the story of an empowered woman starting her new life at age 47, with big dreams, unlimited potential, with strong boundaries, knowing what she wants, unwilling to accept anything less from anyone, addiction-free, a life of excellence, of the best. I know that the abuse won't happen again, because people have tried to abuse me recently & I have drawn up strong boundaries to them immediately. I now recognise those who aren't loving themselves & so who are capable of abuse, it shows obviously in addictions. When people show me who they are I believe them instantly now, I set my boundaries because I know that I deserve the best. I know that rape won't happen again because I am strong & no longer open to being abused. I know that I am free of this story now because I can deal with everyone random situation life throws at me with strength & empowerment. There are a few common tales being lived: The victim's tale is a terrible story, it's hard, it's depressing, it's not inspiring, it's like a bottomless pit. The medical drama tale is similar to the victims story, it's just a more specific tale of woe. The hero's tale (otherwise known as the Phoenix rising tale) is an interesting story, it's one that many choose, I chose it, it's dramatic, but the adversity is hard to take & you have a lot of healing to do from it. Although the healing leads to rewards which are great, there has to be an end to this story. The happily ever after tale is a different story, it's a new one, it is no longer about overcoming adversity, it is about a whole new creation. It's unique to you & what you want to experience. What would you like to come after the hero's tale? You are the writer & the director of your life. You can continue telling the old story or you can write a new one & choose who you want to play the parts in that new story. What story have you been living? What story would you like to live now? Share your old & your new story in the comments below I'm Claire Louise Hay, I help you claim your true power to manifest the life of your dreams through self-awareness and alignment with your higher self. Want to work with me? Click here to find out how!
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My morning routine doesn't stay the same, but it always has similar components to it depending on how I feel when I wake up. This morning this is exactly what I did: I woke up & went for a pee. It was 6am, I was still tired, so I put a guided meditation on my phone & went back to bed. An hour & a half later I made myself a coffee & I took the writing pad out of my bedside drawer. I wrote down my goals for the day, some goals for the month & some general things that I wanted to manifest. I listened to a 30 minute hypnosis, because my previous meditation had felt more like lie-in laziness, & I wanted to empower what I had just written down with my good vibes. I took a shower, put my bikini on, grabbed a banana & rode my bicycle down to a local juice bar for a fresh juice. After my juice I went to the pool, took this photo, had a swim, ate my banana, sunbathed during which I got 3 ideas of action to take toward those goals I had written down. I came back home, hung my bikini out to dry & got to work. This blog was one of the 3rd of those ideas, I already acted on the others., it's 11:33am right now. I feel amazing! This morning's routine is heavier than usual on the guided meditations, it doesn't involve as much exercise as usual because I'm recovering from yesterday evening's Muay Thai training, I will work out later today, it is focused on my work goals because I feel like working today. Some days I wake up & I feel energetic, my body wants to move & so I will do a shorter meditation, write down my goals & desires, throw my workout gear on & head to the gym. Usually while I'm on the treadmill I'll get the ideas for the actions to take that day, when I am fully in my body & not in my head. Whatever happens, however I feel, I try to write down what I want every morning. If I let this slip, my results stop happening. The rest is self-care, listening to my body, mind & soul. That self-care is important to fire up my energy to get those results that I have asked for, it's important because it makes me feel great, it makes me feel empowered, it makes me feel in control of my day, I get to be the director of my day! I have a pad that I can tear yesterdays page out of, I acknowledge what I achieved the day before then I scrunch it up & throw it in the bin. On my fresh page I write down is the number of customers that I want that day dependent on my energy levels & how I feel, & I write Thank you universe! If I have asked for 8 customers say, then I will write 1 to 8 in circles below, the after the number 8 write a star (this is for an extra celebration if I surpass my goals). Throughout the day I tick off the circled number, one by one & give thanks for them. Next I write down what I want to accomplish this month financially, again I write down the figure, sometimes 3 times, then I write Thank you universe! in order to surrender & hand my request over, rather than try to do it myself. Then I write down things that I want that haven't manifested yet, things like a new phone, an equal romantic partner, the number of new leads I want on my mailing list, fitness goals (I constantly challenge my body to being healthier, stronger, faster, better,... it's fun for me) I always write Thank you universe! after each request I don't think too much about it, I don't spend a lot of time doing it, in fact the less time I spend on it the better, because writing it down is about surrender & letting it go. It's a shopping list for the day from the universe, I don't need to memorise it, keep thinking about it, I have handed it over & can trust the universe to pop ideas into my head for the actions to take to make it all happen. Do you have write your goals down daily? Do you want to try it? Share in the comments below what your morning practice is & how it helps you I'm Claire Louise Hay, I help you claim your true power to manifest the life of your dreams through self-awareness and alignment with your higher self. Want to work with me? Click here to find out how! It was the year 2000 way back when I used to work in corporate in the UK. A work colleague friend was leaving to return to Boston & it was his last weekend in the UK. I was free that weekend & asked what he would like to do. He wanted to go somewhere else, to visit somewhere else in Europe for his final weekend. Great idea! We spent the latter half of the week searching for flights & when we didn't find anything by Friday, I suggested that we come into work with our suitcases & if we still didn't find anything we would go to the airport & see what we can find there. We finished work early & I drove us to the airport, how exciting! We had no idea where we were going, we were thinking Dublin, or Prague, or Amsterdam,... When we arrived at the airport there was just one flight available, it was to Tenerife! If you don't know Tenerife is a Spanish island close to Africa, it's a beautiful island that I have visited before, so we got those flights & flew on an almost empty plane to our sunny destination. When we arrived we hired a car, had dinner, drinks & slept on the black volcanic sand beach. The next day we drove right around the island, stopping for delicious food along the way & swims in the ocean. It was so amazing. We found a stunning town with a gorgeous hotel, around a courtyard right in the centre of town. Went in to enquire about a room & they only had the honeymoon suite available, which they could give us for the same price as the other rooms, for our inconvenience! It was beautiful, we had access to the roof where we could sit & people watch the plaza. We felt like the universe was treating us to the time of our lives. On the Sunday we continued to drive the rest of the island & found a beautiful little beach called Los Gigantes, which is named for the giant cliffs around it. It had a little fish restaurant on the beach, so we shared dishes all day, swimming, relaxing in the sunshine until the sun started to get low & we thought, it might be a good idea to fly home now! Arriving at the airport, completely convinced that the universe was giving us the best of the best, we were shocked & amused to find out that there were no seats on the flight back left available. It was fully booked. Not only that but the airport was closed on Mondays too, so we had problem on our hands! My friend said that if he didn't get back he would have to work another week to fulfilled his contract, so it was really important that he get back. We went on standby for the 2 fully booked flights to return. One passenger didn't turn up to the first flight, so I took the seat, my car was at that airport & I told him to just get back to the UK anywhere & I will collect him from whichever airport he lands at. I landed to receive a text message from him that one passenger hadn't turned up for the second flight & so he was an hour behind me to the same airport! Phew! We arrived home at about 3am. I arrived in work first the next day & when people asked how my weekend was, all I could do was laugh. I had to wait for him to get into work to tell everyone what we had done. No matter how impossible things might seem, if you go after your dreams the universe will ALWAYS support you in them. Do you have a magical story of everything working out brilliantly? Share it in the comments I'm Claire Louise Hay, I help you claim your true power to manifest the life of your dreams through self-awareness and alignment with your higher self. Want to work with me? Click here to find out how! It was 1992, I had just graduated university in England, 8 month's pregnant & alone, I could no longer trust my boyfriend of 6 years so I had ended the relationship. I had finished a temporary job that I had taken because being a student before you get pregnant meant that you don't qualify for maternity benefits, only those who were unemployed or employed did. I had to work until they would no longer let me work. After my son was born I got financial help from the government, it wasn't much but it was enough to live off for which I was grateful but I knew that things had to change. I just couldn't remain stuck in this poverty trap, I knew I deserved better. Little did I know that things were about to get much, much worse. I applied for entry level graduate jobs & landed myself one. The wages only just covered my 1 room apartment rent & childcare costs. I knew I had to do it anyway to get myself out of this situation. I was determined to do whatever it took to set myself free, to have the income that both me & my son deserved. What it took was: getting a pushbike & having a baby seat fixed to the back. Riding my son to the childminder, then racing the journey to work that would have taken anyone less desperate at least 25 minutes. Working a 7 hour day only taking a 30 minute lunch break. Racing back to the childminder because if she worked more than 7 hours she charged overtime rates which I didn't have. Getting us home to feed & bathe my son before putting him to bed. Eating white bread with a slice of ham & mayonnaise for dinner. It took me going from my usual 58kg down to 44 kg. It took me walking out of work slamming doors after asking for raise & being told that if I was "serious" about this job then I would put more hours in! (even though I told HIM about my situation) It took every ounce of my energy, fat, determination & will power, then I got a raise. The raise that allowed me to eat & for me to be healthy again instead of just making sure my son was healthy. I shed a tear writing that, taking myself back there. They were the hardest of times. I am also proud of myself for those times. That raise was the start of many. Over the next few years I not only earned plenty but I also invested wisely & grew my money significantly. 8 years & 2 more children later I left that same job because I had achieved everything society told me would make me happy & I wasn't happy. I had the money, I had the job which I only worked school term time so that I could spend time with my children. I had a few holidays a year. I had a new car. I had a big house. I had it all, but I felt so empty inside. The life I was living wasn't fulfilling me. I made a brave decision & gave it all up. I needed to follow a new path. I started meditating & got onto the path of a deeper more fulfilling life. Unfortunately, for my financial wellbeing only, this path had me reading spiritual books that told me that I should be of service to others, that I shouldn't want things for myself, that this would happen naturally as a result of helping others. It didn't. It was a lie. Unfortunately I was around spiritual people who were abundantly challenged, who told me I shouldn't be doing anything for myself, that I would get my reward after I die (this sounds so ridiculous to me now it makes me laugh). But laugh as I might now, I believed it all back then. I went from being wealthy to having nothing, literally nothing. Because I love helping others with my gift this nothingness stuck with me for many years, only just getting by, thinking that if I just help others my reward will come some time, some time soon maybe universe, sometime before I have to pay this bill universe? I was missing something fundamental, something that I had realised way back in 1992, that I deserved better, that I deserved financial plenty for ME, for MYSELF, for MY life, for MY enjoyment, for MY wellbeing, for ME. I had spent years trying to barter with the universe, pretending like everyone else was more deserving than me "I'll help hundreds of people, just please help me pay this one bill" & I did! I was so depleted, surrounded by people that needed help, both in my professional life & in my personal life. It was exhausting. But still I didn't get that I needed to know that I deserved it, I needed to want it for ME Every time I was guided to look at my reasons for wanting money the spiritual guilt would come out from hiding & I would try to find more righteous reasons for wanting the money "I'll give it away", "I'll help many people with it", "I'll help the needy" always thinking that everyone else was more deserving than I was. These spiritual beliefs about money crippled me for so many years. I could clearly see when it had happened, when the money stopped growing & rapidly started to disappear, but I couldn't pin it down to the actual belief that had caused me to only just survive again... until I did. In 2012 I published my first book "The Healing Path Within" I meditated to talk to my guides & said "Great! Now I can help millions of people!" my higher self said "Not likely, you won't allow the results of it back" That was a punch in the gut, but I knew it was true. Why would a book help when everything else I had done hadn't helped? So over the last 6 years I have focused on healing my abundance, on questioning my beliefs about abundance, on releasing past money memories, blocks & raising my abundance consciousness. The final step was to recognise that I deserve plenty for ME, for MY life, for MYSELF. What beliefs hold your greater abundance away? Comment below I'm Claire Louise Hay, I help you claim your true power to manifest the life of your dreams through self-awareness and alignment with your higher self. Want to work with me? Click here to find out how! If you are constantly being disappointed by the way that people treat you, if you are constantly let down by people, if you think that if other people would just BE better to everyone then you would feel better, this blog is for you! How others treat you is totally up to youWe not only attract out of others whatever matches how we feel about ourselves, but we also can't help but reflect back to others how they feel about themselves, too. This means that how others treat you is totally up to you. Your ego might want to tell you that you're the victim & that everyone else is the problem, but ask try this: Name one person that you really respect & valueNow imagine being with that person & being rude to them, disrespecting them, undervaluing them & criticising them. Hard to imagine isn't it? In fact it's hard to imagine anybody doing that to them, because these people have a self-respect, self-worth & self-confidence that always attracts its mirror from others. Don't wait for someone else to tell you your valuePeople can only reflect back to you how you have been feeling about yourself. Wait for someone else to value you & you will wait forever, because nothing will change. Everything you attract is a reflection of your past self. You have the power, you can change your future by valuing yourself now. It starts from the inside (as with everything in life). Imagine you are the person who everyone respects & valuesWho would you have to BE in order to be that person? How would you feel about yourself? How would you be around other people? The truth is that these feelings of self-respect, self-worth & self-confidence come from actions that are taken in daily life that respect, value & appreciate yourSELF. So rather than waiting to feel self-respect before you will start to respect yourself, start doing things to respect yourself. Examples: You might have always put others needs or wishes before your own, putting yourself at the back of the line. You might start to put your needs first, putting yourself at the front of the line & then look after others if they ask you to. In other words, putting your oxygen mask on first. You might have been giving to others even though you feel depleted. You might want to only give to others when you feel like you have plenty to give, so first give to yourself & do the things that fill you up. You might have been upset when others criticise you & tried to argue with them to defend yourself. You might want to tell those who criticise you "That hurts me, why are you trying to make me feel bad about myself?" then choose to be around those who appreciate you instead. You might have accepted all kinds of bad behaviour from others that makes you feel bad. You might want to say "No" & walk away from them. You might have accepted the crumbs from others, been hyper grateful when anyone does the slightest thing for you, when someone gives you a little attention, when someone gives back at all, when someone says one nice thing to you in the middle of criticising you. You might want to decide that you will only accept the best from others & start giving yourself the best. You might want to learn to ignore others unless they are truly loving you how you deserve to be loved, treating you how you deserve to be treated, respected how you deserve to be respected, valued how you deserve to be valued,... Take a step backOnly those who have self-worth, self-respect & self-confidence can really give to others. So don't try to prise it out of those who don't have it to give (that includes yourself). You might have to be alone for a while, until you start to attract those who CAN give you the level that you deserve, let that be ok. It's worth it, believe me. If in doubt, step back. If you're not sure if someone is treating you how you deserve to be treated, don't retaliate, don't argue, don't respond at all, just take a step back. If you're not sure if someone is able to give you the love, respect, value & appreciation that you deserve, take a step back. Give yourself this space to decide for yourself if this is good enough for you. Give them the space to think if they really want to have you in their lives & how they might treat you differently if they decide that they do. That goes for friends, family, colleagues, bosses, partners, clients,.. it goes for everyone. What & who can you take a step back from?Share in the comments below, who can you take a step back from? What situations aren't the best for you that you can take a step back from? I'm Claire Louise Hay, I help you claim your true power to manifest the life of your dreams through self-awareness and alignment with your higher self. Want to work with me? Click here to find out how! |
Be Healing!
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