 Compassionate souls have a desire to love & care for everybody, especially those who aren't looking after themselves. But these same compassionate souls have hard lesson after hard lesson while they do this, until they learn the difference between enabling & the loving care that actually benefits the recipient. In the 1980's food aid was sent into Africa to help feed those who were struggling to feed themselves. It had an unintended negative consequence. Free food was dropped into communities. These communities were used to growing their own food, but once they had a supply of free food they stopped planting their crops, they stopped tending to the land, they didn't need to anymore, food was being brought to them. So when the free food ran out, they were left in a worse position than before. They had to start again with even less resources than they had before. There are numerous examples that show us that doing things for other people, rather than empowering them to do it for themselves, has disasterous consequences. It's easy to see these things on the bigger scale, for the obvious examples, but what about when we look at the smaller scale, who we are loving & caring for around us? Is it loving & caring to give a man free fish or to teach him to fish for himself? Is it loving & caring to always tie your child's shoelaces or to teach them to do it for themselves? Is it loving & caring to get an addict their drug of choice or to help them to recover from it? Is it loving & caring to clean up someone's mess (house, life, relationships,...) or let them suffer their own consequences? The loving & caring thing is often unclear. We try to help sometimes, but what we are actually doing is enabling others not to learn to care for themselves, we are being codependent. I've been doing what I do professionally for 19 years now & it took me quite a few years more than I'd care to admit to, to realise that I can't help people who don't help themselves. That is: if someone isn't seeking the help & isn't willing to invest in themselves to get that help, then if I try to help it never helps them. Loving & caring for those who don't do love & care for themselves always backfires. The love & care can't be received, they are like endless drains never able to be filled because we cannot be any one else's source. Their source is within themselves, their own connection with the true source. Take a look around you. Who are you loving & caring for? Who drains you? Who uplifts you? Who are you constantly trying to fix because they seem such a mess? The loving & caring thing to do is to allow them to find their own power within them, for them to actually feel the consequences of their not looking after themselves so that they have the motivation to do it for themselves. This often means people have to hit rock bottom before they will bounce back, but we have all been there & bounce back we do! Are there parts of your life where you are not loving & caring for yourself? Because just as we can enable others who aren't caring for themselves, we can also be the ones who aren't loving & caring for ourselves & wanting others to do that for us. It could be your health, or your relationships, or your finances, or addictions,... When you start to love & care for yourself, you open the door to other people who are loving & caring for themselves, who can also love & care for you too, to come in. When loving & caring people love & care for each other it's a win win situation. It uplifts everyone & disempowers no-one. Which brings me to how you can love & care for others & have a positive effect. Loving & caring for those who are loving & caring for themselves. They are taking responsibility. You are taking responsibility. Neither you nor them NEED care from others, but they want it. This care can be received because they are already receiving the care from themselves. The love is uplifting for everyone because it's reciprocated. It's magical. It never depletes. It is the only true giving. It can only be given by those loving & caring for themselves first.  I'm Claire Louise Hay, I help you claim your true power to manifest the life of your dreams through self-awareness and alignment with your higher self. Want to work with me? Click here to find out how!
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 In my many years of giving psychic readings, helping my customers to get aligned with what they want in life & manifest it all, one thing comes up over & over again, that is: asking for the wrong things from the universe in the first place. Mary wants to lose weight, so she has an idea that she might exercise. She asks the universe for more air, she knows when she has more air she will be able to exercise. She writes it down in her journal, more air please universe! She affirms it "I have more air!" She tries to find out why she hasn't got more air, she tries to heal it in herself,... She never gets more air. OK, this is a silly example, but it's what people do, over & over again. Everyone knows that you just start exercising & then your body naturally starts to breathe harder & faster, the air is already present in whatever quantity you need. So if Mary had just asked for what she actually wanted, to be slim, then started to exercise, because she had already had the guidance to do that to get to where she wanted to be, she would have naturally attracted more air into her lungs. It was always there available for her, she just needed to do it. Of course people rarely ask for more air, it's usually money that they ask for, thinking that they can only start to ask for what they really want with that money once they have that money, so that they can fulfil their desires themselves & not rely on that pesky universe that demands alignment with what they are asking for! Can you see the problem here? Abundance of anything, air, money, friends, opportunities, apples, yellow butterflies, smiles, customers, ideas, words, thoughts, anything, is ALWAYS available to EVERYBODY. You just have to ask for what you actually want the money FOR & go for that, just start doing it! You just have to ask for what you actually want those friends FOR & just start doing that! You just have to ask for what you want those opportunities FOR & do that! You just have to ask for what you want those apples for & go pick them! You get the picture. Another way that people ask for the wrong thing is that they ask for what they don't want anymore. For example, they might ask for their anxiety to go away, or they might ask for their illness to go away, or they might ask for their depression to be healed. On that face of it this seems like an aware ask, but it won't work. Why do you want your anxiety to go away? What is it that you want a good mental state for? What would you do with that? What is it that you REALLY want? Ask for that! Why do you want your illness to go away? What is it that you want with health & wellbeing? What would you do with that? What is it that you REALLY want? Ask for that! Why do you want your depression to be healed? What is it that you want with a good emotional state? What would you do with that? What is it that you REALLY want? Ask for that! Dream bigger, go deeper, what is it that YOU really want? Share it in the comments below  I'm Claire Louise Hay, I help you claim your true power to manifest the life of your dreams through self-awareness and alignment with your higher self. Want to work with me? Click here to find out how!  My morning routine doesn't stay the same, but it always has similar components to it depending on how I feel when I wake up. This morning this is exactly what I did: I woke up & went for a pee. It was 6am, I was still tired, so I put a guided meditation on my phone & went back to bed. An hour & a half later I made myself a coffee & I took the writing pad out of my bedside drawer. I wrote down my goals for the day, some goals for the month & some general things that I wanted to manifest. I listened to a 30 minute hypnosis, because my previous meditation had felt more like lie-in laziness, & I wanted to empower what I had just written down with my good vibes. I took a shower, put my bikini on, grabbed a banana & rode my bicycle down to a local juice bar for a fresh juice. After my juice I went to the pool, took this photo, had a swim, ate my banana, sunbathed during which I got 3 ideas of action to take toward those goals I had written down. I came back home, hung my bikini out to dry & got to work. This blog was one of the 3rd of those ideas, I already acted on the others., it's 11:33am right now. I feel amazing! This morning's routine is heavier than usual on the guided meditations, it doesn't involve as much exercise as usual because I'm recovering from yesterday evening's Muay Thai training, I will work out later today, it is focused on my work goals because I feel like working today. Some days I wake up & I feel energetic, my body wants to move & so I will do a shorter meditation, write down my goals & desires, throw my workout gear on & head to the gym. Usually while I'm on the treadmill I'll get the ideas for the actions to take that day, when I am fully in my body & not in my head. Whatever happens, however I feel, I try to write down what I want every morning. If I let this slip, my results stop happening. The rest is self-care, listening to my body, mind & soul. That self-care is important to fire up my energy to get those results that I have asked for, it's important because it makes me feel great, it makes me feel empowered, it makes me feel in control of my day, I get to be the director of my day! I have a pad that I can tear yesterdays page out of, I acknowledge what I achieved the day before then I scrunch it up & throw it in the bin. On my fresh page I write down is the number of customers that I want that day dependent on my energy levels & how I feel, & I write Thank you universe! If I have asked for 8 customers say, then I will write 1 to 8 in circles below, the after the number 8 write a star (this is for an extra celebration if I surpass my goals). Throughout the day I tick off the circled number, one by one & give thanks for them. Next I write down what I want to accomplish this month financially, again I write down the figure, sometimes 3 times, then I write Thank you universe! in order to surrender & hand my request over, rather than try to do it myself. Then I write down things that I want that haven't manifested yet, things like a new phone, an equal romantic partner, the number of new leads I want on my mailing list, fitness goals (I constantly challenge my body to being healthier, stronger, faster, better,... it's fun for me) I always write Thank you universe! after each request I don't think too much about it, I don't spend a lot of time doing it, in fact the less time I spend on it the better, because writing it down is about surrender & letting it go. It's a shopping list for the day from the universe, I don't need to memorise it, keep thinking about it, I have handed it over & can trust the universe to pop ideas into my head for the actions to take to make it all happen. Do you have write your goals down daily? Do you want to try it? Share in the comments below what your morning practice is & how it helps you  I'm Claire Louise Hay, I help you claim your true power to manifest the life of your dreams through self-awareness and alignment with your higher self. Want to work with me? Click here to find out how!  It was 1992, I had just graduated university in England, 8 month's pregnant & alone, I could no longer trust my boyfriend of 6 years so I had ended the relationship. I had finished a temporary job that I had taken because being a student before you get pregnant meant that you don't qualify for maternity benefits, only those who were unemployed or employed did. I had to work until they would no longer let me work. After my son was born I got financial help from the government, it wasn't much but it was enough to live off for which I was grateful but I knew that things had to change. I just couldn't remain stuck in this poverty trap, I knew I deserved better. Little did I know that things were about to get much, much worse. I applied for entry level graduate jobs & landed myself one. The wages only just covered my 1 room apartment rent & childcare costs. I knew I had to do it anyway to get myself out of this situation. I was determined to do whatever it took to set myself free, to have the income that both me & my son deserved. What it took was: getting a pushbike & having a baby seat fixed to the back. Riding my son to the childminder, then racing the journey to work that would have taken anyone less desperate at least 25 minutes. Working a 7 hour day only taking a 30 minute lunch break. Racing back to the childminder because if she worked more than 7 hours she charged overtime rates which I didn't have. Getting us home to feed & bathe my son before putting him to bed. Eating white bread with a slice of ham & mayonnaise for dinner. It took me going from my usual 58kg down to 44 kg. It took me walking out of work slamming doors after asking for raise & being told that if I was "serious" about this job then I would put more hours in! (even though I told HIM about my situation) It took every ounce of my energy, fat, determination & will power, then I got a raise. The raise that allowed me to eat & for me to be healthy again instead of just making sure my son was healthy. I shed a tear writing that, taking myself back there. They were the hardest of times. I am also proud of myself for those times. That raise was the start of many. Over the next few years I not only earned plenty but I also invested wisely & grew my money significantly. 8 years & 2 more children later I left that same job because I had achieved everything society told me would make me happy & I wasn't happy. I had the money, I had the job which I only worked school term time so that I could spend time with my children. I had a few holidays a year. I had a new car. I had a big house. I had it all, but I felt so empty inside. The life I was living wasn't fulfilling me. I made a brave decision & gave it all up. I needed to follow a new path. I started meditating & got onto the path of a deeper more fulfilling life. Unfortunately, for my financial wellbeing only, this path had me reading spiritual books that told me that I should be of service to others, that I shouldn't want things for myself, that this would happen naturally as a result of helping others. It didn't. It was a lie. Unfortunately I was around spiritual people who were abundantly challenged, who told me I shouldn't be doing anything for myself, that I would get my reward after I die (this sounds so ridiculous to me now it makes me laugh). But laugh as I might now, I believed it all back then. I went from being wealthy to having nothing, literally nothing. Because I love helping others with my gift this nothingness stuck with me for many years, only just getting by, thinking that if I just help others my reward will come some time, some time soon maybe universe, sometime before I have to pay this bill universe? I was missing something fundamental, something that I had realised way back in 1992, that I deserved better, that I deserved financial plenty for ME, for MYSELF, for MY life, for MY enjoyment, for MY wellbeing, for ME. I had spent years trying to barter with the universe, pretending like everyone else was more deserving than me "I'll help hundreds of people, just please help me pay this one bill" & I did! I was so depleted, surrounded by people that needed help, both in my professional life & in my personal life. It was exhausting. But still I didn't get that I needed to know that I deserved it, I needed to want it for ME Every time I was guided to look at my reasons for wanting money the spiritual guilt would come out from hiding & I would try to find more righteous reasons for wanting the money "I'll give it away", "I'll help many people with it", "I'll help the needy" always thinking that everyone else was more deserving than I was. These spiritual beliefs about money crippled me for so many years. I could clearly see when it had happened, when the money stopped growing & rapidly started to disappear, but I couldn't pin it down to the actual belief that had caused me to only just survive again... until I did. In 2012 I published my first book "The Healing Path Within" I meditated to talk to my guides & said "Great! Now I can help millions of people!" my higher self said "Not likely, you won't allow the results of it back" That was a punch in the gut, but I knew it was true. Why would a book help when everything else I had done hadn't helped? So over the last 6 years I have focused on healing my abundance, on questioning my beliefs about abundance, on releasing past money memories, blocks & raising my abundance consciousness. The final step was to recognise that I deserve plenty for ME, for MY life, for MYSELF. What beliefs hold your greater abundance away? Comment below  I'm Claire Louise Hay, I help you claim your true power to manifest the life of your dreams through self-awareness and alignment with your higher self. Want to work with me? Click here to find out how! How many of these messages have you heard throughout your life? Giving is better than receiving. Be of service & you will receive what you want back. Give to others what you want to receive for yourself. Put others first & yourself last. To quote Dr Phil "How's that working for you?" It didn't work for me, I didn't receive what I wanted by doing that. I continuously attracted people who wanted to take from me, people who would never give back to me. Nobody else seemed to put me first whilst I was putting them first. The problem with putting other people first is you teach them that you come second,... or last. Another problem with putting other people first is that you are cutting yourself off from your guidance system. In order to be attuned to your guidance system you need to put your feelings first. You can't put others feelings first because you don't know what their feelings are, you can't feel for them. You can guess their feelings but it is always a guess through your own personal filters & unique combination of life experiences & baggage. Your own feelings, however, tell you exactly how aligned you are in your life with the path that you really want to be on. Feel bad then you are not in alignment with what you want. Feel good then you are in alignment with what you want. Often when we put other's feelings first we miss the mark. They didn't ask us to put them first & didn't ask for the sacrifice (our own needs) that we made for what we thought they might want. Putting other's first is a big judgment that they can't access their guidance system, they can't look after themselves & they need some kind of help from someone who is better than them. Not so helpful. You're in a unique position to feel your own feelings, you know yourself better than anyone, you know what your needs & desires are. You are the only one with the creative power to have your needs & desires met. Nobody else can do that for you & you can't do it for anyone else. So how about we all concern ourselves with ourselves? Put our own feelings, needs & desires first. Help someone else out when they ask for help & ask for help from others when we need it. We could also forgive others for not having been able to guess what we wanted & create that for us. We can forgive ourselves for having tried the impossible task of creating in someone else's life, too.  I'm Claire Louise Hay, I help you claim your true power to manifest the life of your dreams through self-awareness and alignment with your higher self. Want to work with me? Click here to find out how! |
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