I used to think it was my duty to sacrifice myself for others. I used to think I was a good person for trying to help anyone I saw in need of help, whether they asked for it or not. I used to think I gained some kind of credit for giving up my energy, my wishes, my well-being, my time, to give others what they wanted. At one point I was doing it in my business too, I was giving all of myself, constantly every day & getting so little in return. It was exhausting & I used to think it was other people's problem. I had believed the rhetoric that if you just give, give & then give some more then it will come back to you, eventually.
But then it never did. What did happen was that I burned out & I became resentful that I was giving it all without getting what I needed, never mind what I wanted.
I learned that this kind of giving is in fact judgment of others.
So imagine someone coming up to you & telling you that something in your life, that you love, that you enjoy, is actually a problem & they have come to fix it! You know how that would feel right? Hmm, actually, this isn't a problem, I love it. Or maybe you would believe them & allow them to "help" you? I know I have done both in the past.
But I have also been this person perceiving problems where there really aren't any. Trying to help when really I am judging what I see in others as a problem when it isn't, or if it is, that's for them to decide & to find their solution in connection with their higher self.
The thing is when we are in alignment, when we are focused on our life & creating what we want in our lives to make ourselves feel good, then we end up being of true service to others, not by looking at them & deciding they have a problem, but by doing what makes us feel great. For example, I love doing the weight loss coaching, but I'm not going up to people who I think are fat & asking them do they want it? Ha ha, I am just putting it out there for those that do & having a great time teaching them & helping them when they ask for it, no judgment involved. I love giving readings, but I'm not going out looking for people with problems to ask them do they want a reading on it (I so used to do that!) I just offer the service for those who want it. I love doing the management for my friend at the Muay Thai gym here, it is so much fun, but it wasn't because I thought he had a problem with it.
However, in the last few days I have found myself seeing problems in my close relationships & wanting to help. Just after I shot the week ahead reading I realised that I was doing it again!
You see, everything should be a win win situation. You don't need to give up anything for anyone else. Martyrdom isn't cool it's really annoying to everyone including the martyr!
When you are in true alignment, doing what makes you feel great, you will want to do things that help others, not because you have noticed there is a problem with them, but because it feels so much fun to do it.
Take a look at what you are doing that doesn't feel good. Why are you doing it? What is the problem that you have perceived that needs to be fixed by you doing this? Isn't that a judgment? Could you allow yourself to just do what you love?
Let us know in the comments!
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