 The feminine qualities of love, nurturing, compassion, caring, community, wisdom, healing, etc. have been regarded as unnecessary and unworthy, while the masculine qualities of food, shelter, and physical need provision have been regarded as the only things that are important to us as human beings. This has been going on for far too long and rather than it getting better; it is getting worse. We cannot live without love. 1/3 of babies placed in orphanages can actually die as a result. Half of the rest - at least double the rate seen in the general population - will suffer from mental illness. Each month spent in an orphanage in early life reduces IQ and increases risk of behavioural and psychological problems - and this has been proved by the highest level of scientific proof we have: a randomised controlled trial. This masculine scientific proof makes me shudder, they could have just asked a woman, any woman, instead of subjecting babies to this horrific test. But what this masculine science proves is that feminine qualities are just as important, just as worthy, just as required for our survival, as the masculine qualities of physical provision. This is not just true of babies: it is true for all of us. We do not thrive without what the feminine has to offer - not as a society nor as individuals. How did we get like this? Let me take you back in time to balanced tribal communities. The women were taking care of the children, the emotional wellbeing of the whole tribe, the community, they were providing the nurturing support for the whole tribe and this was essential to everybody in it, for them all to thrive. The men were taking care of the physical needs, the shelter, the food, the protection, for the whole of the tribe. Everybody in the tribe was supported and had everything they needed. Everyone was valued for their integral part in it. The men of the tribe decided that it would be great if life were easier. They wanted to make their jobs, their role, easier. They had a desire to expand what they did in order to improve life for the tribe. So they sought solutions in relation to their roles. They found solutions, such as farming, tools, industry, all kinds of things that made life easier for themselves, for the masculine role of the tribe. The women of the tribe also always sought betterment, it's the human way to want more, to learn, to grow, to improve. However, more love, more nurturing, more community, more of anything that the women are about never comes from outside of ourselves. They cannot be found in tools, nor in industry, they are intrinsic energetic qualities and the women understood this to be true. Improvement for the women of the tribe was a deepening of their heart centres, of their compassion, of their love and of their wisdom, that can only be found within. This is when the trouble started. The men of the tribe looked at the women of the tribe and thought that they were doing nothing, providing nothing and were unworthy of the new great things that they had to offer. They could not see the inner work, the energy work, that these women were doing and they didn't understand it. Whereas men had proof of their work, everyone could see their things, what they made, what they did, how they provided. Unfortunately, the women of the tribe believed them. They believed that what they offered was no longer worthy. They believed the men when they told them that they had to start working and fulfilling the men's role too in order to earn their food, shelter, protection, etc. The feminine role was completely disregarded and is continuing to be completely disregarded. The women are still expected to earn their keep by doing the men's role via transactions, when their nature is to hold the energy for the whole, to provide the very necessary and very valuable loving and nurturing that everybody needs right now and always needed. Women are lost, continually trying to prove their worth in the masculine way whilst knowing that their feminine nature is the most valuable part of them and cannot be proved in the masculine way, just as the masculine roles cannot be proved in the feminine way. This imbalance is getting worse with women now being the breadwinner (providing the physical needs for the family) in a record of 4/10 homes and, even more shockingly, the majority of family homes are now single female parent homes. We are left with the very real worry of what this is doing to our children, while women are trying to do both the role of the feminine and the masculine at once. What we are doing to the children is what we are doing to everybody, man, woman and child, we are neglecting everybody by denying the love, nurturing, compassion, care, community, healing, etc. We are neglecting our whole society. Having women try to be everything to everybody is seen as striving for balance, but it's not balanced at all: we are still undervaluing the true feminine role. As a result more men are having to take on both roles too, and we are all struggling, disconnected from each other, trying to prove our worth in an imbalanced world and failing. We are not thriving. 77% of us report stress. Stress is causing all of our major problems. We are a sick society living in neglect. There is only one solution to this, to address the cause of the problem: to value the feminine. This doesn't mean valuing women only if they do men's roles and it doesn't mean put women above men. It means to value the feminine traits of love, nurturing, community, compassion, healing, wisdom,... as much as we value the masculine traits of physical needs, food, shelter, protection,... Everybody alive here on Earth deserves and is worthy of having their needs met, not just the ones providing the physical needs. Everybody alive here on Earth deserves and is worthy of having their emotional needs met, not just the ones providing the emotional needs. We all need to recognise this and allow the women to take the roles of who they really are, whilst having their physical needs being met by the whole of society. Nobody will value you before you value yourself, therefore it is essential as women that we all value ourselves for who we are and the very valuable feminine roles we fill. So many of my customers and friends have been trying to value their love, nurturing, compassion, community, etc. on a transactional basis, trying to value feminine traits in a masculine way, making it into a business - it does not work, it cannot be done, it does not address the cause of societies sickness. Think back to the balanced tribe again. All women's physical needs were provided for. Those same women could become specialised in wisdom and become the seer, or specialised in healing and become the medicine women (which is very different from the masculine doctor model) and they would receive extra for this, extra gifts, extra privileges, extra honour. In other words, their natural love giving feminine skills that were being offered to the tribe was enough to have her needs met - any extra offered by her granted her extra in return. We do not need to make love into a transaction in the masculine based model in order to pay for our physical needs to be met. We do not need to prove our worth in this way and we cannot prove our worth in this way. We cannot make femininity fit a masculine model. We need to know our worth is in what we offer to our communities, the love, the nurturing, the understanding, the compassion: because without it nobody thrives. As we hold this energy for ourselves, of our own worth, the masculine will join us in this understanding. We cannot live without love. We cannot thrive without love. Our society will remain sick until we acknowledge the true worth of feminine qualities and allow women to do what they do best, whilst having our needs met by those who do what they do best. It needs to start within us in the feminine way. We need to acknowledge ourselves and where our worth lies so that it can be reflected back to us. We need to claim back our feminine power. No more asking women how they can continue to fulfil the men's role AND the women's role but in a way that the children don't suffer, that nobody suffers, that society doesn't suffer - we ALL suffer when that is asked of women: it is not possible. Women's role is to hold the energy, to provide the energetic and emotional space for the whole. Put any of us in a room with each other and you will see it happen. Women have the key to healing societies sickness in their very nature and they must be acknowledged and valued if we are all to thrive and shine as a race. We can no longer continue to produce and be sick people raised and living in an orphanage culture undervaluing the very thing that makes us thrive: the very thing that women are naturally.  I'm Claire Louise Hay, I help you claim your true power to manifest the life of your dreams through self-awareness and alignment with your higher self. Want to work with me? Click here to find out how!
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 "Be the change you want to see in the world" Do you want to receive more? Do you want to be more generous? Do you want to achieve more? Do you want to help others? I've seen so many women mistake the advice above by trying to change everyone else instead of themselves. I used to do the same. I wanted those things and thought I could get it by instigating the change I wanted to see in everyone else in the world. I would give everything I had to others (but keep nothing for myself) I would be infinitely generous with other people (but not myself) I would go out of my way to help others achieve their dreams (but didn't include myself) I thought the universe had it magically covered, that I would receive what I was giving out, sometime, sometime soon, maybe sometime in the future, ... meanwhile I was wearing myself out, getting resentful, limiting myself, ...  Sound familiar? I wasn't trying to be the change I wanted to see in the world: I was trying to change the world by changing others into what I wanted it to be - I was getting it all wrong. I am the only person I can change. In order to be the change I want to see in the world, I need to be more of the things I want to see for myself. I needed to allow myself to receive more, I needed to be more generous with myself, I needed to support myself to achieve my dreams, I needed to help myself first. I needed to fill my own cup first. As I did that, the world started to reflect it back to me. I attracted people who were generous with themselves first and then who shared it with me. The universe matched me and showed me a reflection of myself and I like what I see.  I noticed that as I allowed myself to receive more, as I became more generous to myself, I started to eat less. I had been compensating with food. For all of those years that I had thought everyone else more worthy, for all of those years that I had put others in front of myself, for all of those years that I had been generous with others: I had subconsciously balanced myself by giving myself more food and drink. If you won't be generous with yourself in other ways then you have to be generous with yourself with things you cannot deny yourself or you'd die, right? My body is thanking me and releasing its armour as a result. I found that the more generous I am with myself, the more generous I can be with others, too. Previously, I had tried to be generous with others first and had worn myself out, I had been able to achieve very little. Now I do plenty of pro bono work and it feels good. I can be generous because I have more and being generous with others no longer sends me out of balance. How have you been trying to change the world through everyone else instead of yourself? How could you fill your own cup first?  I'm Claire Louise Hay, I help you claim your true power to manifest the life of your dreams through self-awareness and alignment with your higher self. Want to work with me? Click here to find out how!  Allowing more in your life comes from realising your worth and letting go of "I'm not worthy" self-judgments. I'm on a particularly testing and enjoyable self-worth trip at the moment. My spiritual guides take me down these self-growth paths not only for me to heal, release and move forward within myself, but to teach others how to do the same. This self-worth journey is testing because lack of self-worth is the root cause of all of our problems in life, therefore in order to find out, realise and face these issues we need to be shown how these issues manifest. When we are shown it can feel yucky. It can feel like someone else is doing it to us. It can feel like our parents telling us that we are not worthy, or whoever else it was that taught us this low self-worth pattern. The self-worth journey is also enjoyable because in every step up, in every issue that is release and moved beyond, there is a gift, there is more allowed into your life. The universe or source or God IS abundance and gives us the amount of abundance that we allow into our lives, so as soon as you allow it - it comes. If you aren't experiencing abundance in one area of your life - you are not allowing it in, every time, no exception.  I bought my partner some new work boots because he needed them. I got him the best, the boots that would last him for many years, because that is the sensible thing to do. Then I bought myself some good quality things and felt guilty about them. I had spent less money on myself than I had on him: I didn't feel bad about getting him the boots, so why feel bad about getting myself something? I confronted the feeling. I fully felt it in order to find out what it was. The reason I felt bad about spending the money on myself was that I thought that I didn't need the things I was buying: I just wanted them. This was a particularly interesting discovery for me. Apparently I don't think that my appearance is important, yet I have been shown time and time again that it is. Apparently I don't think that me living a full life is important. Apparently I don't think that I need great things although I want others to have them. I delved deeper around my idea of what I need and what I don't need. I found that I have lower need expectations for myself than I do for others. My list of allowed items that I need is a very short list. The worst thing is that I used to think that this was a good thing, I thought it was admirable to disallow myself, I thought it was a noble thing to shun abundance. What I didn't realise was that I was turning my back on source. I was just only allowing myself a little because of how I felt about myself, and that wasn't good. Ego is the voice inside of us all that is a trickster. The ego tries to make us feel better when we feel fear. The ego tells us to do something or avoid something in order to make us feel better. We're all used to hearing the word ego used to describe someone who feels bad about themselves and so wants to buy something blingy to feel better about themselves right? But what about ego to describe someone who feels bad about themselves and wants to deny themselves something to feel better about themselves? It's the same thing. We can only be free of ego when we allow ourselves what we need and want, not to make us feel better, but because we already feel good and know our worth.  I realised that I allowed myself to have a car when my kids were with me and I needed (there's that word again) to taxi them around. But I sold my car when they weren't around, because I didn't need it. So my children deserve a car, but I don't? How did I come to that logic? Through my lack of self-worth, that's how. Now I'm allowing myself a car and looking for one, my way of doing that and anything else is saying "Car now please thanks universe" and watching what I am shown next. The universe showed me an Aston Martin Vanquish 3 times, that's enough for me to know that it was a sign. It's a beautiful car and not really being into cars in a big way, beauty and colour are about all that is important to me in a car. Luxury and excellence are way up on my list of requirements for everything, too.  I went along with the universe on this one and went to see the Vanquish. It is even more beautiful than in pictures and is the epitome of excellence, which is something I strive for within myself and something I want to support in others with my money, intention, time and any other energy focus I can muster. This car is made by hand. Only 500 are made a year. There is currently a waiting list of 9 months to have one made to your specifications, and this is the kind of car that you want built exactly as you want it. It takes 1 month to build, and do I want to fly over to the UK to watch mine being built? YES I DO! Then it takes 2 months to ship here. It is a bullet proof (handy?), fibreglass car, hence it being handmade and allowing them to achieve the incredible shape that it is. Incidentally, the only other car that I have loved for its beauty is the new VW Beetle and that is made from plastic to achieve the shapes that it does. The interior of the car is leather or suede - you can choose, and it is hand stitched. The interior is not just the seats, but all of the interior - the dashboard, the roof, everything. Sitting in one of these cars you can feel the love and the excellence that has gone into each one. They are made by people aligned with their higher selves, people who are aligned with excellence and abundance, people who are so passionate about cars they want to make the best in the world, that is for sure. It felt right for me. I didn't feel out of place. It didn't push any self-worth buttons in me. The sales rep was friendly, personable, completely understood my complete disregard for what was under the bonnet, and agreed with me that it is the most beautiful car in the world. He also agreed that although new VW Beetle to Vanquish seemed a big leap if you have only eyes like this: $ $, when looking with eyes of pure beauty, it's the next logical step. I will need to wait 12 months for my new handmade car, and in the meantime I will get myself another Beetle, because I need a car, not because I need to drive other worthier people around, not because I need it to get myself to work, but because I am worthy of having something to make my life bigger and better than the smaller version of my life that I was allowing previously. The leap of faith in putting $50,000 deposit down on a car that will cost me $500,000 in 12 months time is a big one, but one that I am willing to take. It will be my biggest financial leap of faith yet, but I know that this is what I'm being asked to do and I've not been led astray yet by my guides! This is my biggest test in allowing and one that I know I need to take in order to be an example to everyone that everything is just energy and we can have whatever we allow. I'm not ready to dive in right now, maybe next week I will. I know that I need to feel no fear, I need to be fully aligned before I take action, which means only feeling good about it. I feel almost there. More meditation required. PS. I knew you wanted to know ladies, it's all we really care about in cars eh? Blue, like the top picture, but with a black suede interior similar to the last picture. What self-judgements do you make that stop you from having what you really want? What is your list of needs like? Should it be bigger and longer? Do you want and expect more for others than for yourself? Would you like to be able to deal with people who are tuned into their higher selves, into excellence and into abundance? Would you like to have access to the best services, products and innovations? Are you being the best at what you do? Is excellence importance in what you offer to the world? Take careful note of the buttons that this blog pushed in you for your clues!  I'm Claire Louise Hay, I help you claim your true power to manifest the life of your dreams through self-awareness and alignment with your higher self. Want to work with me? Click here to find out how!  The art of allowing requires action, and once action is taken, the universe steps up to give you more of what you allowed yourself. You might recall in last week's blog I bought myself a new bag. The bag stretched me, financially and out of my comfort zone. But once I had got it I felt better about myself. I was happy with my bag and it made me feel beautiful. Yesterday I decided that I'd like a little bag with a wrist loop to use when I go out - now I have a bigger bag that is too big to be taking out on evenings out. After dropping off my man at work I went to the local outlet mall to look for one. I went into a normal bag shop and I didn't much like the little bags in there. Then I came across a Fossil shop that I had looked in last week when I was buying my first bag, I loved the bags but they were out of my budget. They were having a massive sale. The shop was packed with people. The discounts were incredible at 75% discount and more. There were so many amazing little bags with wrist loops, but I whittled my selection down from 5 to my favourite. I looked at my once beautiful purse, which was discoloured from getting wet and decided while the prices were this amazing I'd treat myself to a new purse too. I really enjoyed shopping, and that feeling is quite new for me. I allowed an assistant to help me choose, and that is a big step for me, too. I chose my purse and went home very happy with $200 worth of bag and purse for just $60. I took the photo above and enjoyed filling my new purse up.  Then a feeling of excitement took over me. When I had been in the shop, the staff were talking to people around me saying "Are you back for more?" I realised that I needed to go back for more. I hadn't looked at the handbags and I knew that I loved them last week, when they were out of my price range. So I went back, my friendly assistant gushed that the purse and little bag I had bought before had sold out now. I told her I was in for a bag this time. So she helped me choose a style and colour. I opted for this lovely bag in black. All in all I got $640 worth of bags for just $165. I had to raid my savings for some money, but I knew it was worth it. Transferring the contents from my nearly new handbag to my new handbag I realised that last week's bag although pretty was not such high quality as my new new bag. I had taken a step up in less than a week.  It made me realise HOW I had taken such a big leap from chavy hippie bag to high quality leather Fossil bag in less than a week. I had taken action! I didn't listen to the little voice inside my head that said things like "You don't deserve it" "You don't need it" "You don't have the money for it" "Other things are way more important" I decided I deserved it and wanted it and I bought a bag that made me feel better about myself. The grateful happy bag energy that I created within me attracted more of that same energy - and I allowed that, too. What's more, it made me feel really beautiful. Here I am in the evening, I had taken a moment out from reading my novel to take my photo because I felt beautiful. Through all of this I realised that the art of allowing requires clear action, and as soon as you step up and allow yourself to have something that makes you feel great, the universe just wants to shower you with more. What have you been wishing for that you haven't taken action on yet? What action could you take TODAY to take a step toward it? Please share your answers and comments in the comments section below. Me? I've been wishing for a car. But I've not taken action yet. So this afternoon I am going to look around the car yards and choose one!  I'm Claire Louise Hay, I help you claim your true power to manifest the life of your dreams through self-awareness and alignment with your higher self. Want to work with me? Click here to find out how!  We all have insecurities. No matter what heights you reach in your life, the insecurities are always there. They are a form of protection, stopping us from doing something that might harm us, but they are also a way of getting us to reach even higher if we face them and then take action to overcome them. Yesterday I went shopping for a new bag. Surprisingly to me it was a traumatic experience. I went to my local outlet shopping mall and looked around all of the designer outlets to find a bag that felt like me. What I didn't expect to find were yucky insecure feelings. I thought I had worked on my self-worthiness so much lately that a bag shopping trip would be a cinch. But no, it seems that I can go into a luxury car shop and feel secure, I can go look around luxury houses and feel great about myself, but put me into a ladies shop and I crumble. I felt like a fraud. I felt like the tomboy kid again. I felt like the ladies in the store would tell me "I'm sorry, this is a ladies shop, there's nothing for you here!" I felt these feelings fully and pushed myself through them. I found 3 bags: 1. A black bag that I thought I should want. It wasn't me at all. 2. A blue slouchy bag that I was very comfortable with. 3. The lovely blue bag pictured above. I wanted to get #2 until I held it up in the mirror comparing it to #3 in front of me. I realised that #2 was comfortable because it dressed me down, it pandered to my insecurities, it had to go! I forced myself to get #3. This insecurity wasn't new to me. You probably wouldn't believe me if I told you that I only started to get my hair done last year, and even then I couldn't get a colour. Before that I would go to a barber, yes that's right, a barber, I had long hair and I had them cut it straight across the bottom, least fuss possible - that's where my girly-self-worth was at. I was a tomboy because only the boys were (are?) valued in my family/culture/religion. I was taught that girls had to beat the boys to be worthy and I was up for that challenge! Not only did I dress in a masculine way, I also chose the boys subjects at school, woodworking, design and technology, engineering. I thought that I was proving my worth more than the girly girls and I actively judged them for their prettiness and focus on beauty! For the last 10 years I lived in a place where anything goes, Byron Bay, some people didn't even get dressed at all, never mind take a pride in their appearance. It was the perfect place to pander to my insecurities. There's a standing joke in Byron, if anyone is dressed up in the slightest a local will ask "What are you in court for?" For those 10 years I could completely ignore my girly-self-worth issue. Then I moved here to the Gold Coast knowing that I wanted to take care of myself more. I started to wear my better clothes and decided to have a 1 in 1 out policy with my wardrobe: I would upgrade each item of clothing for something of quality that made me look great and I'd donate the old item to charity. Hence the bag shopping trip. I came back home with my new bag and downloaded all of my feelings to my partner's infinitely understanding ears. I decided to confront this insecurity and find a solution. Action always needs to be taken in order to find solutions and I find it best to get help from people who do not have the same insecurity: by osmosis you can learn how they stand in their power about the subject you crumble to. So my girly-self-worth action plan is as follows: Hire a stylist to take me shopping, tell me what suits me and hold my hand through my resistances. Get a make-up lesson and buy make-up that is suggested. Have a manicure and pedicure (I've never had a manicure in my life!) Have my hair coloured, cut and styled. Find new friends to go shopping with. Once I had written my plan I took action right away. I asked Facebook friends if they could recommend a stylist. I asked the universe for the $ to be able to get all the clothes suggested by her because releasing this insecurity is a necessity. I was put in touch with a stylist by a friend within 5 minutes and I made contact with her. I realised that I already know someone locally who uses and sells natural products and gives make-up lessons for $70. I felt like giving myself a DIY pedicure last night but I stopped myself. I am not settling for the easy option that panders to my insecurities anymore. This needs to be faced! Once I click publish on this blog I'm going to call and book 3 appointments that I have vouchers for already: A massage + chiropractic session. A hair appointment with foils, cut and style. A 100 minute pamper pack. All of these things had seemed like unnecessaries to me until now, and now I can see that the insecurity behind these very things have been holding me back. It's my experience that when I release any insecurity in this way, far more opens up in my life, more work, more abundance, more happiness, more friends, more opportunities, all kinds of things. What insecurities do you have? Are you ready to find a solution? Who do you know that doesn't have these insecurities that could help you? Are you open to getting help with it? I'd love to hear your answers if you would care to share in the comments below Take action today, even if it's just writing your action plan and setting a date for one step in your diary. The universe will start to bring solutions your way.  I'm Claire Louise Hay, I help you claim your true power to manifest the life of your dreams through self-awareness and alignment with your higher self. Want to work with me? Click here to find out how! |
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