Allowing more in your life comes from realising your worth and letting go of "I'm not worthy" self-judgments.
I'm on a particularly testing and enjoyable self-worth trip at the moment. My spiritual guides take me down these self-growth paths not only for me to heal, release and move forward within myself, but to teach others how to do the same.
This self-worth journey is testing because lack of self-worth is the root cause of all of our problems in life, therefore in order to find out, realise and face these issues we need to be shown how these issues manifest. When we are shown it can feel yucky. It can feel like someone else is doing it to us. It can feel like our parents telling us that we are not worthy, or whoever else it was that taught us this low self-worth pattern.
The self-worth journey is also enjoyable because in every step up, in every issue that is release and moved beyond, there is a gift, there is more allowed into your life. The universe or source or God IS abundance and gives us the amount of abundance that we allow into our lives, so as soon as you allow it - it comes. If you aren't experiencing abundance in one area of your life - you are not allowing it in, every time, no exception.
I bought my partner some new work boots because he needed them. I got him the best, the boots that would last him for many years, because that is the sensible thing to do.
Then I bought myself some good quality things and felt guilty about them. I had spent less money on myself than I had on him: I didn't feel bad about getting him the boots, so why feel bad about getting myself something?
I confronted the feeling. I fully felt it in order to find out what it was. The reason I felt bad about spending the money on myself was that I thought that I didn't need the things I was buying: I just wanted them. This was a particularly interesting discovery for me. Apparently I don't think that my appearance is important, yet I have been shown time and time again that it is. Apparently I don't think that me living a full life is important. Apparently I don't think that I need great things although I want others to have them.
I delved deeper around my idea of what I need and what I don't need. I found that I have lower need expectations for myself than I do for others. My list of allowed items that I need is a very short list. The worst thing is that I used to think that this was a good thing, I thought it was admirable to disallow myself, I thought it was a noble thing to shun abundance. What I didn't realise was that I was turning my back on source. I was just only allowing myself a little because of how I felt about myself, and that wasn't good.
Ego is the voice inside of us all that is a trickster. The ego tries to make us feel better when we feel fear. The ego tells us to do something or avoid something in order to make us feel better.
We're all used to hearing the word ego used to describe someone who feels bad about themselves and so wants to buy something blingy to feel better about themselves right? But what about ego to describe someone who feels bad about themselves and wants to deny themselves something to feel better about themselves?
It's the same thing. We can only be free of ego when we allow ourselves what we need and want, not to make us feel better, but because we already feel good and know our worth.
I realised that I allowed myself to have a car when my kids were with me and I needed (there's that word again) to taxi them around. But I sold my car when they weren't around, because I didn't need it.
So my children deserve a car, but I don't? How did I come to that logic? Through my lack of self-worth, that's how.
Now I'm allowing myself a car and looking for one, my way of doing that and anything else is saying "Car now please thanks universe" and watching what I am shown next.
The universe showed me an Aston Martin Vanquish 3 times, that's enough for me to know that it was a sign. It's a beautiful car and not really being into cars in a big way, beauty and colour are about all that is important to me in a car. Luxury and excellence are way up on my list of requirements for everything, too.
I went along with the universe on this one and went to see the Vanquish. It is even more beautiful than in pictures and is the epitome of excellence, which is something I strive for within myself and something I want to support in others with my money, intention, time and any other energy focus I can muster.
This car is made by hand. Only 500 are made a year. There is currently a waiting list of 9 months to have one made to your specifications, and this is the kind of car that you want built exactly as you want it. It takes 1 month to build, and do I want to fly over to the UK to watch mine being built? YES I DO! Then it takes 2 months to ship here. It is a bullet proof (handy?), fibreglass car, hence it being handmade and allowing them to achieve the incredible shape that it is.
Incidentally, the only other car that I have loved for its beauty is the new VW Beetle and that is made from plastic to achieve the shapes that it does. The interior of the car is leather or suede - you can choose, and it is hand stitched. The interior is not just the seats, but all of the interior - the dashboard, the roof, everything. Sitting in one of these cars you can feel the love and the excellence that has gone into each one. They are made by people aligned with their higher selves, people who are aligned with excellence and abundance, people who are so passionate about cars they want to make the best in the world, that is for sure.
It felt right for me. I didn't feel out of place. It didn't push any self-worth buttons in me. The sales rep was friendly, personable, completely understood my complete disregard for what was under the bonnet, and agreed with me that it is the most beautiful car in the world. He also agreed that although new VW Beetle to Vanquish seemed a big leap if you have only eyes like this: $ $, when looking with eyes of pure beauty, it's the next logical step.
I will need to wait 12 months for my new handmade car, and in the meantime I will get myself another Beetle, because I need a car, not because I need to drive other worthier people around, not because I need it to get myself to work, but because I am worthy of having something to make my life bigger and better than the smaller version of my life that I was allowing previously.
The leap of faith in putting $50,000 deposit down on a car that will cost me $500,000 in 12 months time is a big one, but one that I am willing to take. It will be my biggest financial leap of faith yet, but I know that this is what I'm being asked to do and I've not been led astray yet by my guides!
This is my biggest test in allowing and one that I know I need to take in order to be an example to everyone that everything is just energy and we can have whatever we allow. I'm not ready to dive in right now, maybe next week I will. I know that I need to feel no fear, I need to be fully aligned before I take action, which means only feeling good about it. I feel almost there. More meditation required.
PS. I knew you wanted to know ladies, it's all we really care about in cars eh?
Blue, like the top picture, but with a black suede interior similar to the last picture.
What self-judgements do you make that stop you from having what you really want?
What is your list of needs like? Should it be bigger and longer?
Do you want and expect more for others than for yourself?
Would you like to be able to deal with people who are tuned into their higher selves, into excellence and into abundance?
Would you like to have access to the best services, products and innovations?
Are you being the best at what you do? Is excellence importance in what you offer to the world?
Take careful note of the buttons that this blog pushed in you for your clues!
I'm Claire Louise Hay, I help you claim your true power to manifest the life of your dreams through self-awareness and alignment with your higher self.
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17/6/2013 04:05:16 pm
Oh wow! Thank you for this!! l will spend the money on my kids for their clothes, etc... but always search for the cheapest for myself. l have 2 pair of jeans... the kids each have a gazillion! l go with the minimum for myself all the time. When l splurge on a mascara or something, l chalk it up to 'maintenance'. l don't buy anything 'unnecessary' for just ME. Why? l guess like you, l don't think l NEED anything more. Again.. why? Why am l not worth it?!?!?!? Thank you Claire! Thank you!!! =)
18/6/2013 01:42:13 am
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