 She thought they were her friends but they turned on her, bullying her, it made her so mad, she was angry. She told her mother that the kids were mean to her. Her mother shouted at her, telling her that she must have done something to make them be mean to her, she told her  "Stop lying! Stop crying!" She got the message loud & clear that she was the problem, that her wellbeing didn't matter, that she shouldn't be angry, that she shouldn't speak up, that she was lesser than everyone else.  Fast forward 30 years & yet another relationship is breaking down. Every time she is not happy she speaks up but then she gets the blame, he yells that she is the problem, that she's being crazy. Trauma leaves clues...  In this scenario the child had a healthy reaction to being bullied, she was angry, it was warranted, she had been hurt. She took that to her mother who, for whatever reason, did not listen to her, did not soothe her, did not meet her where she was at in order to help her make sense of what she was feeling & to figure out what she could do to empower herself in these situations. The mother thought that the child's behaviour was bad, but it was actually the mother's behaviour that was at fault. From this trauma a faulty rule book is born, the rulebook of what is right and wrong, of what is good behaviour & bad behaviour. This faulty rule book is then internalised & it is very confusing, because it negates how we truly feel & our inherent sense of what is right & wrong.  We gravitate toward people that feel familiar to us. We get into relationships & friendships with people that have similar internalised rule books. Those that are operating from the same paradigm & it feels normal to us. Then we experience the same behaviours from others that we experienced as a child. It is confirmed that it's not ok for us to speak up, that our feelings don't matter, that we are the problem & so it goes on & on & on... repeating patterns, until... YOU are the one that can change this pattern, you can break free of this now!  Facing the trauma that you experienced, making sense of it as a wise adult, rewriting your rule book & creating new patterns of being will set you free. When you do this, you will change your life, you will be drawn to a completely different kinds of people that match your new rule book.
Let's talk about how I can help you to release your trauma today, email me [email protected] or if you're ready to start right now
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