How we got so out of balance & what we can do to fix it

The feminine qualities of love, nurturing, compassion, caring, community, wisdom, healing, etc. have been regarded as unnecessary and unworthy, while the masculine qualities of food, shelter, and physical need provision have been regarded as the only things that are important to us as human beings. 


This has been going on for far too long and rather than it getting better; it is getting worse.

We cannot live without love. 

1/3 of babies placed in orphanages can actually die as a result. Half of the rest - at least double the rate seen in the general population - will suffer from mental illness. Each month spent in an orphanage in early life reduces IQ and increases risk of behavioural and psychological problems - and this has been proved by the highest level of scientific proof we have: a randomised controlled trial. 

This masculine scientific proof makes me shudder, they could have just asked a woman, any woman, instead of subjecting babies to this horrific test. But what this masculine science proves is that feminine qualities are just as important, just as worthy, just as required for our survival, as the masculine qualities of physical provision.

This is not just true of babies: it is true for all of us.

We do not thrive without what the feminine has to offer - not as a society nor as individuals.


How did we get like this? 


Let me take you back in time to balanced tribal communities.

The women were taking care of the children, the emotional wellbeing of the whole tribe, the community, they were providing the nurturing support for the whole tribe and this was essential to everybody in it, for them all to thrive. The men were taking care of the physical needs, the shelter, the food, the protection, for the whole of the tribe. Everybody in the tribe was supported and had everything they needed. Everyone was valued for their integral part in it.

The men of the tribe decided that it would be great if life were easier. They wanted to make their jobs, their role, easier. They had a desire to expand what they did in order to improve life for the tribe. So they sought solutions in relation to their roles. They found solutions, such as farming, tools, industry, all kinds of things that made life easier for themselves, for the masculine role of the tribe.

The women of the tribe also always sought betterment, it's the human way to want more, to learn, to grow, to improve. However, more love, more nurturing, more community, more of anything that the women are about never comes from outside of ourselves. They cannot be found in tools, nor in industry, they are intrinsic energetic qualities and the women understood this to be true. Improvement for the women of the tribe was a deepening of their heart centres, of their compassion, of their love and of their wisdom, that can only be found within.

This is when the trouble started. The men of the tribe looked at the women of the tribe and thought that they were doing nothing, providing nothing and were unworthy of the new great things that they had to offer. They could not see the inner work, the energy work, that these women were doing and they didn't understand it. Whereas men had proof of their work, everyone could see their things, what they made, what they did, how they provided.

Unfortunately, the women of the tribe believed them. They believed that what they offered was no longer worthy. They believed the men when they told them that they had to start working and fulfilling the men's role too in order to earn their food, shelter, protection, etc.

The feminine role was completely disregarded and is continuing to be completely disregarded.

The women are still expected to earn their keep by doing the men's role via transactions, when their nature is to hold the energy for the whole, to provide the very necessary and very valuable loving and nurturing that everybody needs right now and always needed.


Women are lost, continually trying to prove their worth in the masculine way whilst knowing that their feminine nature is the most valuable part of them and cannot be proved in the masculine way, just as the masculine roles cannot be proved in the feminine way.

This imbalance is getting worse with women now being the breadwinner (providing the physical needs for the family) in a record of 4/10 homes and, even more shockingly, the majority of family homes are now single female parent homes. We are left with the very real worry of what this is doing to our children, while women are trying to do both the role of the feminine and the masculine at once. What we are doing to the children is what we are doing to everybody, man, woman and child, we are neglecting everybody by denying the love, nurturing, compassion, care, community, healing, etc. We are neglecting our whole society.

Having women try to be everything to everybody is seen as striving for balance, but it's not balanced at all: we are still undervaluing the true feminine role.

As a result more men are having to take on both roles too, and we are all struggling, disconnected from each other, trying to prove our worth in an imbalanced world and failing. We are not thriving. 77% of us report stress. Stress is causing all of our major problems. We are a sick society living in neglect.


There is only one solution to this, to address the cause of the problem: to value the feminine. 


This doesn't mean valuing women only if they do men's roles and it doesn't mean put women above men. It means to value the feminine traits of love, nurturing, community, compassion, healing, wisdom,... as much as we value the masculine traits of physical needs, food, shelter, protection,...

Everybody alive here on Earth deserves and is worthy of having their needs met, not just the ones providing the physical needs.

Everybody alive here on Earth deserves and is worthy of having their emotional needs met, not just the ones providing the emotional needs.

We all need to recognise this and allow the women to take the roles of who they really are, whilst having their physical needs being met by the whole of society.


Nobody will value you before you value yourself, therefore it is essential as women that we all value ourselves for who we are and the very valuable feminine roles we fill.

So many of my customers and friends have been trying to value their love, nurturing, compassion, community, etc. on a transactional basis, trying to value feminine traits in a masculine way, making it into a business - it does not work, it cannot be done, it does not address the cause of societies sickness.

Think back to the balanced tribe again. All women's physical needs were provided for. Those same women could become specialised in wisdom and become the seer, or specialised in healing and become the medicine women (which is very different from the masculine doctor model) and they would receive extra for this, extra gifts, extra privileges, extra honour.  In other words, their natural love giving feminine skills that were being offered to the tribe was enough to have her needs met - any extra offered by her granted her extra in return.

We do not need to make love into a transaction in the masculine based model in order to pay for our physical needs to be met. We do not need to prove our worth in this way and we cannot prove our worth in this way. We cannot make femininity fit a masculine model.

We need to know our worth is in what we offer to our communities, the love, the nurturing, the understanding, the compassion: because without it nobody thrives.

As we hold this energy for ourselves, of our own worth, the masculine will join us in this understanding.

We cannot live without love. We cannot thrive without love. Our society will remain sick until we acknowledge the true worth of feminine qualities and allow women to do what they do best, whilst having our needs met by those who do what they do best.

It needs to start within us in the feminine way. We need to acknowledge ourselves and where our worth lies so that it can be reflected back to us. We need to claim back our feminine power.

No more asking women how they can continue to fulfil the men's role AND the women's role but in a way that the children don't suffer, that nobody suffers, that society doesn't suffer - we ALL suffer when that is asked of women: it is not possible.

Women's role is to hold the energy, to provide the energetic and emotional space for the whole. Put any of us in a room with each other and you will see it happen.

Women have the key to healing societies sickness in their very nature and they must be acknowledged and valued if we are all to thrive and shine as a race. We can no longer continue to produce and be sick people raised and living in an orphanage culture undervaluing the very thing that makes us thrive: the very thing that women are naturally.

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​I'm Claire Louise Hay, I help you claim your true power to manifest the life of your dreams through self-awareness and alignment with your higher self.

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