I woke up shaken and emotional this morning from a distressing dream. The dream had so much significance to it and that significance was made quite obvious. I won't go into the details of the dream because other people were involved, but the message was that a part of me as a child was missing because of growing up with abuse and that the part of me that is missing needs to come out and be treated like a child, needs to be brought up again. The part of me that is missing, and this is very common for victims of childhood abuse, is my ability to trust people and to receive from people. This revelation is not new to me, I have been working on this part of myself for some time, but the message was clear - this is not about working on myself, it's about bringing that part of me up all over again, like nurturing a child. So my research took me in the direction of finding out how we can restore the trust of an abused child. It's time to parent that part of myself that is missing. Although children's original impression of the world as scary and dangerous can never be fully erased, expectations can be hugely improved by being placed with the right family. In 2 to 3 years a certain level of trust of adults can be regained. I have ejected all of the people in my life that I can't and shouldn't trust, this is a great start. I am now surrounded by only those who I can trust and who support me. Now to let that support in. I have decided to keep a receiving gratitude journal: noting everything that I receive with gratitude, to show myself that it is safe for me to receive from others. I hope that this will nurture that scared little girl and coax her out of the cupboard to be fully loved. An interesting thing happened as soon as I decided to keep this journal this morning. I went to the post office to post some crystal kits to a customer, and as I got out of my car there was 10 cents on the floor at my feet. In the post office they put my parcel through as a letter, which saved me a dollar or so. I got a call from the owner of our house saying that he is coming around to fix all the things that aren't working today. In a matter of minutes I was already receiving more from others than usual. So my tip this week is to keep a receiving gratitude journal: 1. Get a small notebook or use an app like notes on your phone. 2. Write everything that you receive down in it, from smiles, to money, to discounts, to gifts,.. write it all down and write thank you for each. 3. Comment below on the changes you notice in your life. I'm Claire Louise Hay, I help you claim your true power to manifest the life of your dreams through self-awareness and alignment with your higher self. Want to work with me? Click here to find out how!
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Christmas is our natural state of being. And I'm not talking about family arguments and days off work. At Christmas we give and receive in a way that is most congruent with our higher selves. At Christmas when we receive a gift we receive it just because we want it. We desired something, we put it on our Christmas list, someone who loves us got it for us just because they love us and want us to be happy in the receiving of it and we receive it just because it makes us happy ... and because it's Christmas. This is the energy in which to receive everything from anyone or just from the universe. Just because you want it. Just because it makes you happy. Just because you love it. Just because you desired it. At Christmas when we give a gift we give it just because someone we love wants it. They desired something. It will make them happy. We want to see them happy. We give them what they want. This is the energy in which to give anything to anyone. Just because they want it. Just because you want them to have what they want. Just because you want them to be happy. Both giving and receiving make us happy. It's a delight to give to others and see them happy. It's a delight to allow others the pleasure of giving to us, too. Some people say that stuff doesn't make us happy, but it's not the stuff that makes us happy, its the energy exchange that makes us happy - because we are creator spirits who crave connection and energy exchange. We thrive off our connection with others because we are all one. There is no better way to connect with others than to give and receive. It's also very important to be balance in our giving and receiving. If you give too much without receiving you are condemning someone to less joy of giving. If you receive too much without giving you are doing yourself out of the joy of giving. Let giving and receiving flow back and forth to and from each other just like it's Christmas - just because it makes us all happy. Allow yourself to receive from others just because it makes you happy. Give to others just so that they feel happy, too. Let every day be Christmas even if just in your mind, give and receive freely! I'm Claire Louise Hay, I help you claim your true power to manifest the life of your dreams through self-awareness and alignment with your higher self. Want to work with me? Click here to find out how! If you have followed me over the years you will know that I struggle to receive. Being around abusive people in my formative years caused me to lack trust in people. But my receiving issues ran deeper than this, in particular my mother resented everything she ever gave me or did for me. This caused me to not want to receive anything from anyone lest they resent me for it, because I knew just how much that resentment made me feel bad about receiving. The crazy thing is this: stopping myself from receiving from others so that they don't resent me means that I have had to be the giver, the one doing everything not only for myself but for everyone else, which caused (you guessed it) resentment within me. It's impossible to give give and give some more without resentment because it is an our of balance state. In our attempt (my mother and I) to keep resentment at bay we were attracting it right to us and being it! I've been working on this for some time. It's hard without a balanced role model to learn from, but I quite like these inner challenges. This reluctance to receive meant that I took the caretaker role in all of my relationships and the world. I would take responsibility for everyone and everything and be firmly in control. I had to stop my caretaker role at the same time as my partner stopped his lost child role, we worked on it together. I released responsibility for him as he stepped up his responsibilities. We supported each other and let each other know if we slipped back into old roles. We achieved more balance. We are a work in progress. Then my son told me he was coming to live with me again. My partner forewarned me telling me that my son who is 20 does not need mothering (care taking) but needs a guide and that he would help me in releasing my old caretaker role with him. I braced myself: I knew that this was going to be hard for me. I love having my son here. He came to tell me who he really is and I approve. I had no idea that he was too afraid to tell me (or anyone else) for many years, but he needed to come tell me first. He's got a gift not unlike my own and he has specific plans of how he wants to help people with it. I understood his fear of coming out as a mystic, it took me many more years than him to have the courage to do it. I didn't have a me in my life: I am glad that he does. Having my son here pushes my buttons. I have felt the need to do everything for everyone for so long that stopping myself from doing this is hard and hardest of all with my children. I feel the need to physically remove myself from the situation. The stress I have been feeling has been intense. Now that I am stopping myself from taking responsibility and care taking, the stress is making itself known in a big way. Here's an example: My son said that he would make pizzas for us for lunch one day. He was going to grind the flour, make the dough, and all the rest of it, yum! My partner needed to eat at midday to be able to get to work on time. Usually I would make the lunch (we eat our main meal at lunchtime and our digestive system loves us for it) in plenty of time for him to get ready and get to work. Usually I am in control. It was 11:00am and no preparation had started. I wanted to take control, so I went to my partner and asked what to do. He told me to go lie outside in the sunshine and relax. So I did. At 11:15am my son came outside with his book and sat down to read. I thought my head was going to explode. I couldn't stop myself "You know that Jarrod needs to eat in about 45 minutes right?" He settled down to read his book. I had a fight with myself in my head. My stress levels were through the roof. I went to see my partner and he listened to me. He reminded me that the worst that could happen is that he doesn't eat before he goes to work which is actually not my responsibility and it won't affect me. This is about my son and him and he's not worried about it so why should I? I breathed in. I breathed out. This level of stress has been in me all of my life and I haven't felt it because I had a way of deflecting it, I had a coping mechanism, I could take responsibility for it all and not feel the stress, but it was there all along and the magnitude of it, when I really feel it, is scary. I hate to think of what it has been doing to my health. My son asked me to help him because he hadn't left enough time to make the pizzas (you reckon?) and after a frenzied time in the kitchen we all sat down to rush eat pizzas before I took Jarrod to work. I needed a massage, my back was hurting (not feeling supported by those around me) my neck was hurting (over thinking things, stress) and my shoulders were hurting (taking responsibility that isn't mine to take). The massage was sooooo goooood. I was so relaxed afterward that I went home and lay on my sun lounger dozing. I realised that the real issue here was trust (again), that I had begun to trust my partner and I was getting better at that, and that I needed to learn to do the same with my son, because what do we do best as women and mothers? Give to them, nurture them and take way too much responsibility them. This disempowers children and adults alike. I always felt it was my role though, that I needed to do that to prove myself as a good mother. Breaking free of it is like breaking free of a drug dependancy (I would imagine). I meditated on trust and realised that trust can be taken 2 ways. I could trust that my son would get the pizzas ready on time and expect him to and open myself up to disappointment or I could trust that everything would happen perfectly for everyone, lessons and all, and avoid disappointment, instead hoping for a great outcome. The first is expectation-trust and doesn't feel good, the second is hope-trust and feels much better. We got our pizzas in time. None of my stressing, fighting in my head and struggle made it happen. So I'm learning to hope-trust my partner and son more and I'm getting plenty of practice! For the last 3 weeks I have had the guidance to take a break from my work. I have been doing the bare minimum. I see where my guides are taking me now. The very same trust issues have stopped me from receiving from my business, anyone else who had done the amount of work I have in the last few years, helping thousands of people, the webinars, the products, the launches, the books, etc. would be a millionaire by now, and I have known for a long time that I am preventing myself from receiving back from it because I struggle to receive. As always the change starts within and then in the home and now I am extending that to hope-trust you, to hope-trust my business, to let go of my responsibility for the whole world, to let this be a team effort, to let go of the role I think I need to take to prove myself worthy and to let go of the struggle. I realise that when I have mastered this my business will set off by itself again. So I'm off to the pool now. Thanks for reading! Do you take responsibility for others? Are you a caretaker? Are you ready to give up the role and allow yourself the experience of truly receiving? I'm Claire Louise Hay, I help you claim your true power to manifest the life of your dreams through self-awareness and alignment with your higher self. Want to work with me? Click here to find out how! "Be the change you want to see in the world" Do you want to receive more? Do you want to be more generous? Do you want to achieve more? Do you want to help others? I've seen so many women mistake the advice above by trying to change everyone else instead of themselves. I used to do the same. I wanted those things and thought I could get it by instigating the change I wanted to see in everyone else in the world. I would give everything I had to others (but keep nothing for myself) I would be infinitely generous with other people (but not myself) I would go out of my way to help others achieve their dreams (but didn't include myself) I thought the universe had it magically covered, that I would receive what I was giving out, sometime, sometime soon, maybe sometime in the future, ... meanwhile I was wearing myself out, getting resentful, limiting myself, ... Sound familiar? I wasn't trying to be the change I wanted to see in the world: I was trying to change the world by changing others into what I wanted it to be - I was getting it all wrong. I am the only person I can change. In order to be the change I want to see in the world, I need to be more of the things I want to see for myself. I needed to allow myself to receive more, I needed to be more generous with myself, I needed to support myself to achieve my dreams, I needed to help myself first. I needed to fill my own cup first. As I did that, the world started to reflect it back to me. I attracted people who were generous with themselves first and then who shared it with me. The universe matched me and showed me a reflection of myself and I like what I see. I noticed that as I allowed myself to receive more, as I became more generous to myself, I started to eat less. I had been compensating with food. For all of those years that I had thought everyone else more worthy, for all of those years that I had put others in front of myself, for all of those years that I had been generous with others: I had subconsciously balanced myself by giving myself more food and drink. If you won't be generous with yourself in other ways then you have to be generous with yourself with things you cannot deny yourself or you'd die, right? My body is thanking me and releasing its armour as a result. I found that the more generous I am with myself, the more generous I can be with others, too. Previously, I had tried to be generous with others first and had worn myself out, I had been able to achieve very little. Now I do plenty of pro bono work and it feels good. I can be generous because I have more and being generous with others no longer sends me out of balance. How have you been trying to change the world through everyone else instead of yourself? How could you fill your own cup first? I'm Claire Louise Hay, I help you claim your true power to manifest the life of your dreams through self-awareness and alignment with your higher self. Want to work with me? Click here to find out how! Allowing more in your life comes from realising your worth and letting go of "I'm not worthy" self-judgments. I'm on a particularly testing and enjoyable self-worth trip at the moment. My spiritual guides take me down these self-growth paths not only for me to heal, release and move forward within myself, but to teach others how to do the same. This self-worth journey is testing because lack of self-worth is the root cause of all of our problems in life, therefore in order to find out, realise and face these issues we need to be shown how these issues manifest. When we are shown it can feel yucky. It can feel like someone else is doing it to us. It can feel like our parents telling us that we are not worthy, or whoever else it was that taught us this low self-worth pattern. The self-worth journey is also enjoyable because in every step up, in every issue that is release and moved beyond, there is a gift, there is more allowed into your life. The universe or source or God IS abundance and gives us the amount of abundance that we allow into our lives, so as soon as you allow it - it comes. If you aren't experiencing abundance in one area of your life - you are not allowing it in, every time, no exception. I bought my partner some new work boots because he needed them. I got him the best, the boots that would last him for many years, because that is the sensible thing to do. Then I bought myself some good quality things and felt guilty about them. I had spent less money on myself than I had on him: I didn't feel bad about getting him the boots, so why feel bad about getting myself something? I confronted the feeling. I fully felt it in order to find out what it was. The reason I felt bad about spending the money on myself was that I thought that I didn't need the things I was buying: I just wanted them. This was a particularly interesting discovery for me. Apparently I don't think that my appearance is important, yet I have been shown time and time again that it is. Apparently I don't think that me living a full life is important. Apparently I don't think that I need great things although I want others to have them. I delved deeper around my idea of what I need and what I don't need. I found that I have lower need expectations for myself than I do for others. My list of allowed items that I need is a very short list. The worst thing is that I used to think that this was a good thing, I thought it was admirable to disallow myself, I thought it was a noble thing to shun abundance. What I didn't realise was that I was turning my back on source. I was just only allowing myself a little because of how I felt about myself, and that wasn't good. Ego is the voice inside of us all that is a trickster. The ego tries to make us feel better when we feel fear. The ego tells us to do something or avoid something in order to make us feel better. We're all used to hearing the word ego used to describe someone who feels bad about themselves and so wants to buy something blingy to feel better about themselves right? But what about ego to describe someone who feels bad about themselves and wants to deny themselves something to feel better about themselves? It's the same thing. We can only be free of ego when we allow ourselves what we need and want, not to make us feel better, but because we already feel good and know our worth. I realised that I allowed myself to have a car when my kids were with me and I needed (there's that word again) to taxi them around. But I sold my car when they weren't around, because I didn't need it. So my children deserve a car, but I don't? How did I come to that logic? Through my lack of self-worth, that's how. Now I'm allowing myself a car and looking for one, my way of doing that and anything else is saying "Car now please thanks universe" and watching what I am shown next. The universe showed me an Aston Martin Vanquish 3 times, that's enough for me to know that it was a sign. It's a beautiful car and not really being into cars in a big way, beauty and colour are about all that is important to me in a car. Luxury and excellence are way up on my list of requirements for everything, too. I went along with the universe on this one and went to see the Vanquish. It is even more beautiful than in pictures and is the epitome of excellence, which is something I strive for within myself and something I want to support in others with my money, intention, time and any other energy focus I can muster. This car is made by hand. Only 500 are made a year. There is currently a waiting list of 9 months to have one made to your specifications, and this is the kind of car that you want built exactly as you want it. It takes 1 month to build, and do I want to fly over to the UK to watch mine being built? YES I DO! Then it takes 2 months to ship here. It is a bullet proof (handy?), fibreglass car, hence it being handmade and allowing them to achieve the incredible shape that it is. Incidentally, the only other car that I have loved for its beauty is the new VW Beetle and that is made from plastic to achieve the shapes that it does. The interior of the car is leather or suede - you can choose, and it is hand stitched. The interior is not just the seats, but all of the interior - the dashboard, the roof, everything. Sitting in one of these cars you can feel the love and the excellence that has gone into each one. They are made by people aligned with their higher selves, people who are aligned with excellence and abundance, people who are so passionate about cars they want to make the best in the world, that is for sure. It felt right for me. I didn't feel out of place. It didn't push any self-worth buttons in me. The sales rep was friendly, personable, completely understood my complete disregard for what was under the bonnet, and agreed with me that it is the most beautiful car in the world. He also agreed that although new VW Beetle to Vanquish seemed a big leap if you have only eyes like this: $ $, when looking with eyes of pure beauty, it's the next logical step. I will need to wait 12 months for my new handmade car, and in the meantime I will get myself another Beetle, because I need a car, not because I need to drive other worthier people around, not because I need it to get myself to work, but because I am worthy of having something to make my life bigger and better than the smaller version of my life that I was allowing previously. The leap of faith in putting $50,000 deposit down on a car that will cost me $500,000 in 12 months time is a big one, but one that I am willing to take. It will be my biggest financial leap of faith yet, but I know that this is what I'm being asked to do and I've not been led astray yet by my guides! This is my biggest test in allowing and one that I know I need to take in order to be an example to everyone that everything is just energy and we can have whatever we allow. I'm not ready to dive in right now, maybe next week I will. I know that I need to feel no fear, I need to be fully aligned before I take action, which means only feeling good about it. I feel almost there. More meditation required. PS. I knew you wanted to know ladies, it's all we really care about in cars eh? Blue, like the top picture, but with a black suede interior similar to the last picture. What self-judgements do you make that stop you from having what you really want? What is your list of needs like? Should it be bigger and longer? Do you want and expect more for others than for yourself? Would you like to be able to deal with people who are tuned into their higher selves, into excellence and into abundance? Would you like to have access to the best services, products and innovations? Are you being the best at what you do? Is excellence importance in what you offer to the world? Take careful note of the buttons that this blog pushed in you for your clues! I'm Claire Louise Hay, I help you claim your true power to manifest the life of your dreams through self-awareness and alignment with your higher self. Want to work with me? Click here to find out how! |
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