I used to have no boundaries & very little judgement. I thought that this was a good & spiritual way to be. But it led me into many difficulties in life.
Since I figured out the difference between judgment & discernment I've been able to have clear boundaries & have been able to make good choices for myself.
I see so many spiritual types with no boundaries, constantly allowing unwanted into their lives because they don't want to be judgmental, & I see what a disempowering effect that has on their lives.
You see judgment is a state of being in which you have critical thinking, you are looking for the flaws, what is wrong, it leaves you focused on what you don't like, on the problems to fix,... All of that focus just law of attracts more experiences that you don't like, more people that you don't want to be around, more problems,...
Discernment on the other hand is a willingness to make a quick yes or no decision based on whether something or someone is for you or not. It requires that you are in tune with yourself so that you can feel whether something or someone feels good to you or not. Discernment is about deciding for yourself whether something is allowed in your life or not, in that moment when it shows up in your life. When discernment gives you a yes, you focus on that thing that you want, on the positive. When discernment gives you a no, you turn away from it, or them, trusting your choice, so that you can continue to focus on what you want.
When you are in judgment & you finally decide on a no, judgment has you continued to focus on what you didn't want. It has you blaming or feeling guilty for that no, it has you feeling shame that you decided to say no, it has you wishing that things were different, that they were different so that it could have been a yes. Judgment is an inability to choose what is best for you. Paradoxically, the very people who try not to judge tend to be the ones who judge the most, because their not wanting to discern what is good for them or not, has a constant stream of unwanted things & people in their lives, & if you surround yourself with the unwanted it is very difficult not to judge it.
Discernment can only happen when you KNOW that you deserve & you KNOW that it's ok to choose what's best for you in every moment. As you say YES to the wanted & can focus on that good stuff you get more of that. As you say NO to the unwanted & quickly shift your focus from it with no inner repercussions, your life will be an upward spiral of awesomeness.
I'm Claire Louise Hay, I help you claim your true power to manifest the life of your dreams through self-awareness and alignment with your higher self.
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