You think you're doing the right thing by teaching your values to your children but let me explain why it causes issues that can debilitate them throughout their life.
This is for parents and for adults who don't understand why they sabotage themselves throughout their lives, so that we can break the chain of pain and realise who we really are.
Our personal values come from our spirit, they come directly from our soul.
Every single child born, no matter where they are in the world has the same values of connection with others, play and learning. That's because those values come from their soul.
Our values change throughout our life, because there are stages of life that require a change in values for us to continue growing.
In an ideal world our values would look something like this:
* the age groupings are general
0 - 19 Connection, Play, Learning
20 - 30 Connection, Play, Learning, Trying many things out, Finding myself
30 - 40 Connection, Play, Learning, Finding my tribe or creating a family
40 - 110 Connection, Play, Learning, Sharing my gifts, Being of service (work)
When adults have children, they have different values than their children should - yet most try to teach their children their values.
When a parent tries to teach their values to the child, values of sharing their gifts, of work, or worse still skewed values taught by others of hard work, independance, competition, etc.
At best they are trying to give their child a head start, teaching them how to be a 40 year old instead of how to be a child.
At worst, they are teaching their child that their values are wrong, which means that who they are is wrong. That they have no worth, which means that their worthiness is only in what they do instead of who they are.
This leads to a life of trying to justify and prove their worth through doing things, through work before they even know what they are here to give!
It leads to a life of always feeling not good enough, that the inner knowing that you had and have is wrong, that you are lacking.
It leads to a life of knowing you are worthless, believing in lack, and not trusting yourself.
The lucky ones amongst us have a breakdown or breakthrough at some point in this misery.
This leads to a spiritual awakening and finds us questioning everything we were led to believe.
When this awakening happens what we really need to do is to regress to our childhood values and live them again.
By returning to connection, play and learning we lay the foundations of who we are, being happy with who we are.
Then they will feel the need to find themselves, and live the 20's that they missed, trying many things, finding what is aligned with them and what isn't.
Then they will naturally share their gifts with the world, because when you are truly yourself and aligned with your spirit, there is nothing else you can do!
Do you still value yourself for your work instead of who you are?
Symptoms can be:
Talking about your work to loved ones.
Getting busy doing something when other's are around.
Feeling guilty when you are not working.
Wanting to give more than receive.
Finding it hard to switch off.
Praising your children for what they do and not who they are.
Feeling the need to motivate your children to do things.
Many adults are still trying to please their inner parent (the parent inside of you that takes over parenting yourself in the exact same way your parents did) not realising that those values were never your own in the first place. Then they will naturally do the same thing with their own children.
This has led to the majority of this planets population being lost, not knowing who they are, what they are here for, and constantly feeling bad.
Parents, trust your children, allow them to find their own values that are right for them.
Adults, set yourself free: If you didn't follow the ideal path in life, choose it now, allow yourself to let go and start again, this time with awareness, you will find your life purpose and have plenty of fun along the way.
I'm Claire Louise Hay, I help you claim your true power to manifest the life of your dreams through self-awareness and alignment with your higher self.
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Empowering your dreams!