As empaths, or givers, or carers, or nurturers one of our super powers is that we are awesome at feeling what others need in the moment & giving it to them. This causes us to be the one that many come to when they aren't feeling good, or they need help.
However, we can tend to leave ourselves out of this, often not even understanding how we aren't asking for the love that we want & need, wishing that others would do the same for us, but perpetually confused as to why they aren't doing that!
A spiritual teacher might have told you to keep giving what you want & eventually it will come back to you. I was told this & it's not true. It's great if you keep giving, but that isn't what is going to get you the love that you want & need back. I learned that the hard way.
So what will bring us the love & caring we need, want & deserve back?
Firstly we need to turn that amazing empathic gift onto ourselves, we need to be attuned to our own feelings, not just those of others, we need to recognise what we need & when we need it by feeling it fully.
The tendency to ignore our own feelings & put everyone else's feelings first needs to be overcome. Become aware of when you do this, when you put what someone else wants above your own wants, when you put someone else's needs above your own needs, when you put someone else's feelings above your own feelings. Then do the opposite, you'll feel like such a bitch when you do, but really? When you're helping other people do you think of them as bitches? No? Neither are you.
Then we need to stop trying to fulfil all of our needs by ourselves. Yes, you can meditate, you can get your crystals out, you can sit in your room & try to deal with your feelings, your needs & your desires alone. But eventually that is not going to satisfy you, & that's because we are human beings & if there is one thing we need it is connection. Connection to spirit is wonderful, but that is not all you need. You also need connection with other people.
Become aware of when you try to fulfil your needs yourself & force yourself, yes it is going to take force at first to break this pattern, force yourself to go to others to fulfil those needs for you. You can start small, when you feel anxious, don't hide the emotion, look someone, anyone, directly in the eyes & show them your anxiety, let them give you a reassuring smile that everything is ok, that you are safe. It is not your responsibility to be the strong one never needing anything from others.
Once you are a pro at seeking connection with others to fulfil your emotional needs, then you can graduate to the next step of asking for your other needs to be met by others, if you have a physical need or desire, if you could do something by yourself but it would be way more fun & powerful if you had help from someone else, or got supported by someone else, then ask, start asking. This might make you feel physically sick at first, again, you might have to force yourself to do it & ignore that egoic voice telling you to stop right now & handle it yourself instead. But do it anyway.
The more you do this, the easier it will get, the more you will feel fulfilled. the more you will feel loved, the more you will understand just how you were previously holding that love away from yourself, the happier you will be, the more joy you will feel, the more you will be able to help others with your super power!
Share your ah-ha's, experiences & comments below & let's do this together
I'm Claire Louise Hay, I help you claim your true power to manifest the life of your dreams through self-awareness and alignment with your higher self.
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