 Self-esteem isn’t a simple on-or-off switch; it exists on a spectrum. Our position on that spectrum can shift based on our life experiences and the people we surround ourselves with. It’s easy to feel confident when things are going well, right? Similarly, being around positive people can boost our self-esteem. But for empaths, this can be a double-edged sword.  Empaths are driven by a deep desire to help others, to feel for them, and to make the world a better place. While this instinct to help brings us feelings of purpose, value, and worth, it goes beyond that—it’s an intrinsic part of who we are. Yet, this very nature can also work against us on a personal level. Motivational speaker Jim Rohn said: "You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with" This quote emphasizes the influence that your close relationships have on your behavior, mindset, and overall life. When empaths blur the lines between close relationships—those we aspire to be influenced by—and work relationships—those we aim to help—things can start to go awry. For an empath, it can feel natural to welcome those in need into their inner circle because they open their hearts to them. However, empaths often overlook the toll this takes on their own energy. In a way, it's an act of self-love, as we’re attempting to care for a version of ourselves that once struggled in similar ways.  As always, more self-love for our present selves is essential—self-love in the form of boundaries. There’s no issue with an empath helping others, as long as they don’t rely on these relationships as the source of their own well-being. It’s important not to seek fulfillment from the very relationships where we’re giving the most. I’ve found it helpful to compartmentalize my life into two distinct areas. One compartment is labeled “WORK,” where I channel my drive to help others—a core part of who I am, something I feel compelled to do. The other compartment is labeled “PERSONAL,” where I recognize my natural inclination to be drawn to those in need, but I understand that these relationships can drain me, leaving little room for me to receive. In this personal space, I choose relationships—whether friendships or romantic connections—with people who aren’t in the “WORK” box. These are the ones I can have fun with, who are my equals, and who add value to my life. I’ve found that with these relationships, there’s a better balance; I’m there for them, and they’re there for me. I don't always get it right, I'm still a work in progress too, but I know myself well enough to look out for my patterns that work against my own self esteem.
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