I have been on a wild ride over the last few weeks. As many of you know I live in constant communication with the universe & don't take any action until it's inspired action. About 6 weeks ago my guides told me that there was no more growth to be had for either of us in our blissfully happy relationship. It was a shock. Click here for more details about that story. We decided to make the split as easy on both of us as possible & share our house for 6 more weeks until the lease had finished. Those 6 weeks were awesome, because it allowed me to really investigate the patterns that had been going on, how Jarrod had been affecting my energy, what I had taken on that wasn't mine, what I had left out that was ME. It allowed us both to process the emotions step by step & work through whatever came up. Is it the easiest way to split up? No, it's just as hard as every other way. Would I do it this way again? Yes, because there will be little left to heal & clear up around this afterwards, whereas the "normal" way of breaking up, you know the one, you wait until it has all turned to shit so you can justify doing it without feeling too much guilt & you store up all of that crap within yourself to be healed in the coming years when you want a relationship next but the wounds of the break up are still lurking & festering. With 3 weeks to go Jarrod looked for & found an apartment to move into. With 2 weeks to go I finally had the guidance to look for a place of my own, a song popped into my head called Reach for the Stars "there's a place, waiting just for you, it's a special place where your dreams all come true" Sure enough, there was the perfect place for me & the real estate wanted to give it to me. I applied along with my friend Susan who will be sharing this place with me. I didn't hear anything back from them. I had full faith that everything would work out just perfectly. So with 2 days to go until the moving date I called the real estate saying time is running out, I need to organise removalists etc. He said that he hadn't heard from the owners but will let me know today. That week was a stressful one, with all of my faith & courage I still couldn't disconnect myself from the stress of moving, of uncertainty, of everything that needed to be done, of time running out, but I got through it & I didn't sabotage it by panicking & settling for anything less than the ease that I deserve. I received an email from him saying the owners have decided that the place isn't available until next month now! I quickly got onto the phone to my current real estate agent to make sure that I wouldn't be made homeless tomorrow, and no, she doesn't have anyone for this place yet so I can stay until I find somewhere. A thought passed through my mind "What did I do wrong? Why has it gone wrong?" But then I realised, nothing has gone wrong. In fact this is as right as it gets! I have been put into the situation where I am free & totally available (& packed) to move at any time now. This means that the universe can give me ANYTHING. The doors are open to bigger & better solutions than ever right now. It also means that I get to experience this emotional grief period fully without doing doing doing through it & ignoring my emotions. So I'm open, I'm ready, I'm excited, I'm releasing everything that this crazy new moon eclipse is showing me that isn't actually ME anymore. ME being the fullest most whole every part of me included no wrongness no judgments all perfection me. I'm bringing back all aspects of myself that I put on a shelf for the relationship that I was in (oh no I did that again...) And I'm ready! Bring it on Universe! I'm Claire Louise Hay, I help you claim your true power to manifest the life of your dreams through self-awareness and alignment with your higher self. Want to work with me? Click here to find out how!
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2 weeks ago Jarrod & I went to Brisbane for the day. We had so much fun & I never felt more in love & happy. Whilst we were there I kept seeing road signs flashing up "EXPECT CHANGE" & I got excited because I have been asking for big things. Exactly 1 week later I received the guidance that our relationship was over. Specifically that there was no more growth for either of us available in this relationship. I went into shock. I asked for confirmation. I did 1001 readings on it. It was confirmed over & over again. It was true. Jarrod taught me the art of emotional communication for which I will be eternally grateful. I summoned up all of my courage & I told him the guidance I was given. For the next 2 days we were both in denial. Jarrod seemed to forget what I had said. I wanted to ignore it & carry on in our wonderful lives together. I knew we needed to talk about it again so I summoned up all of my courage & we talked & we cried together. Jarrod said he had had the feeling 6 months ago that he was holding me back now & we needed to part ways, but he didn't trust that guidance. I had had no idea. The grief that lasted 2 days was centred around our attachment to each other. Our shared dreams that would be lost, Our mutual emotional support of each other. Our inspiration for each other. We realised that none of this would be lost. We would still be each others emotional support. We would still inspire each other. We would still achieve our dreams, only not together. We realised that we weren't losing our love for each other, but we were just transitioning the relationship into friendship. That eased our hearts. As I slowly detached from this relationship (we agreed to take it slow & as easy as possible for each other) I felt my self love rising up. I had gone into this relationship believing that Jarrod was my forever soul mate & I am glad that I did that. Because of that belief I put my whole heart & soul into the relationship & I would not change a thing, not in this relationship or my next. We are loving each other & letting each other go. It's actually much easier than holding onto a relationship until it turns to shit & then dumping it all & disconnecting completely. I know. That's what I used to do. That's what most people do. But you don't need to wait until relationships turn to shit. You don't need to wait until you hate them. You can act on the first inkling or guidance that it's over & you can let go. You do not need to justify the release to anyone else but each other, and 2 self aware people in a relationship will both know the truth in it. As I detached I realised just how much of myself I was putting aside in order to put our relationship first. It was time to reconnect to me. It was time to love all of myself including those parts I had placed on the shelf for this relationship. My heart expanded. I feel better about myself than I ever have. I am owning & loving every part of me without shame, guilt or apology. I am *so* grateful for the past 6 years together. They have truly been the best years of my life. I am excited that this ending means that there are even better times on the way. I realised that I have always been masculine in every relationship I ever had. I was taught that I had to be masculine to achieve anything good in this world as a child, so I became masculine like almost every other woman on this planet today. Many of you will know that it has been my focus since my mid 20's to find out what it is to be feminine, empowered feminine. There were no examples not in history nor around me. I looked far & wide. I only found women being masculine to achieve empowerment. So this journey needed to come from within me (as so many do). I have spent the last 2 years focused on changing my business so that I can be feminine in it & I have achieved that. Now it's time to do the same thing within my relationships. I connected in with what I really want from a relationship next, in order for me to grow. This is what I want & what I have never yet experienced: A man who is like me in many ways. He's creative, he's successful, he's accomplished, he's a leader in his field, he is abundant, he cares about the world, he wants to change the world for the better in a big way, he looks after himself, he exercises, he eats nutritious food, he has passion, he has drive, he has motivation, he takes the lead, he is not afraid to show the world who he is & to go for whatever he wants. A man who is my compliment. He's masculine, he is probably frustrated at being with masculine women & has decided he wants an empowered woman who inspires him but who can also be feminine & let him take the lead, he wants to be the protector & giver, he wants to be appreciated for every part of him & what he has accomplished. He wants a woman who will love him, guide him & be offer him the feminine support so that he can stand in his masculine power & focus on what he wants to accomplish. A man who will stretch me into learning how to receive & be taken care of. I see this dynamic very clearly & the kind of man that my soul mate is. & I'm ready, every single part of me is ready. I'm excited for my next life unfoldment. I'm a bit scared as to how receiving from a man will make me feel (vulnerable) but I want to feel that & work through it. This morning after my workout, swim & meditation, I had a song in my head "The Power of Love" specifically this part of it: 'Cause I am your lady and you are my man Whenever you reach for me, I'll do all that I can We're heading for something Somewhere I've never been, sometimes I am frightened But I'm ready to learn 'bout the power of love. I'm Claire Louise Hay, I help you claim your true power to manifest the life of your dreams through self-awareness and alignment with your higher self. Want to work with me? Click here to find out how! (I tried to find a picture of anger but only found pictures of people raging, which is very different, so here are some calming stones instead.) I used to think that being spiritual meant being nice to everyone. I wish I could say that I soon learned that being nice to everyone doesn't help me or anyone else, but in reality it took me many years of being a doormat & wide open to abuse to finally get the lesson. Anger is a valid emotion. We feel it when we experience something that breaks our rules or values. Anger has a purpose. Anger's purpose is to provoke us to speak our minds to the person who needs to hear what is in our minds. This is what I used to do: Push my anger down, try to stop feeling it, ignore it, be nice to the person involved. You know what this lead to? I continued to be bullied, abused, raped, taken for granted, used like a doormat. That doesn't make me feel very spiritual, don't know about you. It wasn't just my belief that anger was bad & that nice was spiritual that caused me to push that anger down & be a doormat instead, it was FEAR too. Fear of the other person's reaction if I spoke my truth. Suppression of anger in this way leads to RAGE. Now rage is not a good emotion. It is completely different to anger, and so many people are suppressing their anger instead of expressing it anger is often mistaken for rage. Rage is a whole different beast. Rage is often violent. Rage makes you say things hurtful things that you don't mean. Rage makes you kick the dog or someone else who has absolutely nothing to do with the original anger. Rage is the explosion that comes when enough anger has been suppressed instead of expressed. Rage makes you feel terrible afterwards. However, anger actually makes you feel good afterwards. You express it to the person concerned right away attaching the emotion to it. By attaching the emotion to it I mean shout, cry, express the anger as you communicate what it was that broke your rules. When you express yourself clearly in anger, you are heard. Anger needs to be heard & released, otherwise it festers inside & turns into rage at some poor unsuspecting soul. The outcome of expressing your anger can be: 1. Expressing your anger to someone who is not self aware will cause them to react badly to you. If you choose to express your anger to someone like this make sure that you are protected first, make sure that they have no way of getting to you afterward. Surround yourself with self aware people - let the idiots go, they are not your responsibility. 2. Expressing your anger to someone who is self aware & who loves you might cause them to start to make excuses & defend themselves - stop them & tell them that this is about you speaking & them listening, then carry on expressing. This will lead to them thinking about what they have done now that they know just how much it hurts you & changing the behaviour. 3. In the clarity that you achieve once a completely valid emotion has been expressed, you realise that it's your rules that need changing not the other person's behaviour. In my years of being a doormat I tried all kinds of disempowering practices like: Changing my rules & being ok about the rapist!!! Ummm HELLO? Changing my rules & being ok about the abuser!!! WTF? Pushing that anger down, not expressing it, no change happening, still getting hurt over & over then rage coming out when it's time to give the cats their worming tablets - I kid you not! So please spiritual teachers: No more of this anger is bad, anger isn't spiritual, whatever you do don't express it, whatever you do don't send that email, wait until you have suppressed your anger & have a ticking time bomb within BS. PS. Now that I am expressing my anger properly I am no longer a doormat, I can eject idiots out of my life (I was disrespected twice 7 months ago & that person is no longer in my life), I can help the people who I love who I want in my life learn & grow so that they are not hurting me & others anymore, I am much happier, I feel infinitely more empowered & I can calmly give the cats their de-worming tablets. (Bingo & Raffles meow a sigh of relief) I'm Claire Louise Hay, I help you claim your true power to manifest the life of your dreams through self-awareness and alignment with your higher self. Want to work with me? Click here to find out how! Bullying is the lowest form of attempt of self-empowerment. A bully bullies because they feel so insecure & inept in themselves that putting someone else down makes them feel just that little bit better. Dealing with bullies can be challenging, especially when you have had them in your life for a long time. Dealing with bullying from childhood causes us to develop ways of coping, often by ignoring it, letting it wash over us, or some other way of not feeling how the bully is really making you feel. That approach works to protect you as a child but it doesn't alleviate the problem of bullying. So here are my tips of how to deal with bullies in an empowered way. 1. Decide whether you want a relationship with this person or not. An easy way to decide is to ask yourself this question "Do they bring any value into my life?" If your answer is no, then it's ok not to have a relationship with them no matter who they are. If the answer is yes, then you get to decide how much or little of a relationship you want with them. 2. Be clear on your boundaries & express them to the bully. Whether you want a relationship or not with this person, you need to tell them clearly how they make you feel, that you will not tolerate it & what your boundaries are. A bully needs to be dealt with on their level, which is a very low level, so be simple & clear with them. This is no time for being nice, what they are doing is not nice. 3. Expect no apology. Bullies never apologise. Release any expectation of positive response from the bully, they will not give a positive response, ever. Know that they will either back down if you have been successful in expressing yourself clearly & strongly, or they will attempt to continue the bullying if you have not been clear & strong enough to match where they are at in their small minds. 4. Expect it to make you feel angry Anger is the correct emotion to feel about bullying. Whether someone is bullying a child in a playground or a grown man. It is right to feel anger toward these people. Do not feel guilty for that emotion. Accept it for what it is: the emotion that goes with witnessing something hurtful. When you accept that bullying & standing up to bullies will make you feel angry, acknowledging that feeling will dissipate it. This is not a time to be nice, it is a time to stand up for yourself & say no more. 5. Let it go It's good to feel compassion for them inwardly - they must hurt so much they have completely switch off their emotions to be able to do what they do. But they are not your responsibility, you do not owe them anything. Their learning, growing & changing is completely their responsibility, not yours. Whether they learn or grow at all in this lifetime is up to them, not you. Leave them to do that for themselves. An example: An open letter to Eric. Your snooping has made it very easy to get this message to you. Other than reading this: your snooping is not welcome. Cease & desist. Cease the calls, cease the drive by's & cease the snooping around my business. Your being the father of my partner gives you no right to harass or stalk me. Let me make myself clear that I have no relationship with you. The superficial relationship (not even bothering to find out anything about me but guessing some completely fictitious) that we had when I was actively encouraging your son to be in touch with you is no more. It ended when you disrespected me & were rude to me on 2 occasions. I do not tolerate that kind of behaviour from anyone. I don't need to. Contrary to your belief your son is not a mindless puppet who I control. If you want to find someone to blame for your poor relationship with your son (which was the case long before I met him) go into your bathroom and look in the mirror. Better still talk to him & ask him. An emotionally capable parent would be glad that their child had a partner who stood up to them when someone bullies them, belittles them, treats them like they can't even do anything good in life, tells them that they are stupid & tells them that they should be grateful for a mindless minimum wage job (because they are stupid & wouldn't be able to do anything better). However, the bullying parent would see me as a threat. Your son is far smarter & more of a man that you will ever be. Your relationship with him is between you & him, if you have wrecked it then that is your fault. I will not tolerate anybody who hurts my partner in the way that you do. But as I say, your relationship with him is between you & him, not me. You have no part in my life. You will never be a part of my life. Cease & desist the calling & snooping. I have no qualms in making it official if I am to notice you continuing this behaviour. I'm Claire Louise Hay, I help you claim your true power to manifest the life of your dreams through self-awareness and alignment with your higher self. Want to work with me? Click here to find out how! Your self awareness is in a state of constant growth. My body reminded me just how much everything is connected this week. Have you ever realised that you have a habit, a symptom or something going on in your life that you were not aware of previously - even though it was always there? I realised that I have a habit of chewing my lips and the inside of my cheeks. It's a symptom of anxiety that has been with me for as long as I can remember. It goes like this: my tongue searches around for rough parts in my mouth or on my lips, when it finds some my teeth get to work on them, biting off the rough parts in an attempt to make them smooth. It doesn't work. In fact it makes them worse. Other anxiety symptoms that I had as a child were pulling at my hair and sucking it. I became aware of this background habit a few months ago and I set the intention to stop doing it. I rarely do it now, unless sometimes when I'm reading a book or watching a film I'll catch myself doing it again. I've known for a few years that I have a very tight jaw, especially on the left hand side. I knew that this was due to anxiety. But I hadn't linked the chewing of my lips and cheeks until now. I searched for solutions other than the usual solutions of relaxation etc. because these habits never happen when we're relaxing, they happen when we are focused on something else and therefore they escape our awareness. I found a great solution, which apart from being funny, also worked very well for me to remain conscious about the habit. I talked to my mouth like this "Lips and cheeks, I'm going to start taking better care of you. I'm sorry that I let tongue and teeth abuse you for so long. It has really been getting to jaw too, sorry jaw. Tongue, stop searching around for rough bits, lips and cheeks are going to be rough sometimes and that's ok, they're perfect just as they are. Please stop telling teeth to do something about them. Teeth, stop it! Lips and cheeks aren't food. Your job is chewing food. Leave lips and cheeks alone now please. I'm also going to start taking better care of you too. Jaw, I'm sorry that this has been affecting you for so long. We're all going to help you to release that." I continue the conversation with my mouth whenever I catch myself chewing again. Yes, I'm that crazy woman talking to her mouth. I also went for a Chinese neck, shoulder and head massage to help alleviate the tightness in my jaw. It was divine, it was also emotional in parts. The massage had me searching online for acupressure points to help with the release of anxiety. When I started to massage my own acupressure points, they were sore on the side that my jaw is the most sore and not on the other side. So my left side is holding the anxiety. The most painful acupressure point was also very close to my wrist that is weak and has an injury. My wrist starts hurting when I don't feel worthy. This led me to give myself a reading on it for clarity of what this anxiety/tightness/habit is all about. My higher self told me that it is a reflection of my not forgiving myself for the past, and it is showing up now for release because I need to be ready to travel for my work and I have been blocking this travel by not forgiving myself. I hadn't thought of it in that way before, but it makes so much sense. I want to travel but I've also been quite glad that I haven't been able to, because I feel that I SHOULD go visit my children if I can travel, but that option isn't possible, and so I have been stuck in this state of blocking myself from all travel as a result. Our body gives us all kinds of clues as to what is going on in our energy. When you start to become aware of symptoms it means that it's time to release them, it's a sign of healing. The more you focus your awareness on the symptoms with an intention to finding a solution, the quicker the universe will put a solution. The solution requires you to act on whims, like searching online for solutions, going for a massage, searching online for acupressure points to relieve anxiety,... Action is required when you have the inspiration, and when you have that inspiration it is essential that you allow yourself to take those steps to heal. Go for those massages or whatever else is calling you, get that reading to get more information about it, follow up on ideas that pop into your mind. What have you become aware of in your body lately? Are you seeking solutions for it? What leads have you been given? Have you acted on them? Let me know in the comments below. I'm Claire Louise Hay, I help you claim your true power to manifest the life of your dreams through self-awareness and alignment with your higher self. Want to work with me? Click here to find out how! |
Be Healing!
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