 It was a celebration, smoke filled the room, everyone was drunk, apart from me, I was a small child. My uncle was blowing smoke rings & I was catching them by poking my finger through them "I'll blow smoke rings when I'm a grown up, this is fun!" The adults had stopped making fun of my shyness, they'd stopped laughing at my body, they'd stopped trying to get me to admit that I fancied my cousin, I didn't even know what that meant anyway. The ordeal upstairs had also stopped. I had been molested by the boys, each taking turns to get into bed with me to touch me. My brother being both the ringleader & the first. This was not a safe situation. I was not cared for. This was an abusive situation, the only reality that I knew. Once I was old enough to take care of myself I removed myself from this abuse, or so I had thought. The truth was I was taking care of myself to the almost the same low levels. At age 47 I was still around alcoholics, I was still being made fun of, I was still being yelled at & put down by people who were pretending to love me, I was still around people who made me feel unsafe, I was still in that smoky atmosphere pretending that I was having fun. It was a shock to wake up to the fact that I was neglecting myself, that I wasn't caring for myself, that I wasn't protecting myself, that I wasn't choosing good situations for myself, still. So I took action, I removed myself from the toxicity. I started to take good care of myself, to be the parent for myself that I wish I had had. The ways in which I find easy to take care of myself, my diet, exercise, they were all ways in which I was taken care of as a child. That has come "naturally" to me as a result of my childhood programming. It's the destructive programming that has to go. Deciding on new boundaries & taking action on them, stepping away from what is not good for me is where I am at. The void. I know that the next step will come naturally when I am ready, when I am re-programmed, the stepping toward what IS good for me. Everyday I'm meditating, I'm exercising, I'm eating healthily, I'm working, I'm reading, I'm going to bed early. I'm focused on the basics, the foundations of good self-care, focused on what I can do positively for myself. I'll let you know when the next step comes along. Are you still caring for yourself in the same way, negative & positive, that you were cared for as a child? Do you need to start to take care of yourself better?  I'm Claire Louise Hay, I help you claim your true power to manifest the life of your dreams through self-awareness and alignment with your higher self. Want to work with me? Click here to find out how!
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 In my many years of giving psychic readings, helping my customers to get aligned with what they want in life & manifest it all, one thing comes up over & over again, that is: asking for the wrong things from the universe in the first place. Mary wants to lose weight, so she has an idea that she might exercise. She asks the universe for more air, she knows when she has more air she will be able to exercise. She writes it down in her journal, more air please universe! She affirms it "I have more air!" She tries to find out why she hasn't got more air, she tries to heal it in herself,... She never gets more air. OK, this is a silly example, but it's what people do, over & over again. Everyone knows that you just start exercising & then your body naturally starts to breathe harder & faster, the air is already present in whatever quantity you need. So if Mary had just asked for what she actually wanted, to be slim, then started to exercise, because she had already had the guidance to do that to get to where she wanted to be, she would have naturally attracted more air into her lungs. It was always there available for her, she just needed to do it. Of course people rarely ask for more air, it's usually money that they ask for, thinking that they can only start to ask for what they really want with that money once they have that money, so that they can fulfil their desires themselves & not rely on that pesky universe that demands alignment with what they are asking for! Can you see the problem here? Abundance of anything, air, money, friends, opportunities, apples, yellow butterflies, smiles, customers, ideas, words, thoughts, anything, is ALWAYS available to EVERYBODY. You just have to ask for what you actually want the money FOR & go for that, just start doing it! You just have to ask for what you actually want those friends FOR & just start doing that! You just have to ask for what you want those opportunities FOR & do that! You just have to ask for what you want those apples for & go pick them! You get the picture. Another way that people ask for the wrong thing is that they ask for what they don't want anymore. For example, they might ask for their anxiety to go away, or they might ask for their illness to go away, or they might ask for their depression to be healed. On that face of it this seems like an aware ask, but it won't work. Why do you want your anxiety to go away? What is it that you want a good mental state for? What would you do with that? What is it that you REALLY want? Ask for that! Why do you want your illness to go away? What is it that you want with health & wellbeing? What would you do with that? What is it that you REALLY want? Ask for that! Why do you want your depression to be healed? What is it that you want with a good emotional state? What would you do with that? What is it that you REALLY want? Ask for that! Dream bigger, go deeper, what is it that YOU really want? Share it in the comments below  I'm Claire Louise Hay, I help you claim your true power to manifest the life of your dreams through self-awareness and alignment with your higher self. Want to work with me? Click here to find out how!  "This can't happen again, I won't survive it again!" was my cry to the universe after I had been raped for the 3rd time in my life. I was 36, it had been 18 years since it had last happened, 22 years since it first happened. I thought I was done with that story long ago. I was living a synchronistic life, a business woman, things always worked out magically for me, then Bam! It happened again. I felt broken, but not too broken to recover. This time. It couldn't happen again. I wouldn't survive it. I knew that deep in my heart. I knew that something had to change & I knew that something had to be me. I had flown away from my abusive family, to live on the other side of the world. I had followed my spiritual calling. I was helping lots of people to heal. My heart was open. I was making a difference. I didn't know how I had manifested this again but I knew that I needed to find out so that I could release it. I didn't tell anyone about the first rape, there was nobody safe to tell. I told a couple of close friends about my second rape, but I had been to visit a court just weeks before it happened & I had witnessed the victim being abused even more in the court room. I knew that I could never do anything about it without even more pain inflicted on myself. But this time it was different, I knew that I would kill myself if it happened again, this time it was a matter of survival. I needed to tell someone who could do something about it. I needed to do something about it. I told the police. They had a counsellor contact me to help me through the next stages, it was the help that I needed all along. I would not recommend anyone go through the court process, unfortunately, it still is a terrible ordeal where you are abused again, only this time in a room full of people who should know better. The system is loaded to protect the perpetrator & to belittle the victim. But I would highly recommend the counselling because this is what I found: I had grown up in an abusive household of alcoholics. This made me accept abuse as normal. I had no capacity to discern a dangerous person from a safe person. I was open to anyone. I had no boundaries. Even the spiritual teachings I was following had me seeing the best in everyone & thinking that this would protect me. It didn't. I was taught life skills by my counsellor, she taught me what is acceptable, what isn't, she taught me how to take control of ongoing abusive relationships, how to have boundaries to protect my feelings, to protect myself. We did role playing so that it became my new normal. I had to unlearn a lifetime of being taught to accept everyone & everything, but with the right support I did it. The abusers that I had an ongoing relationship with were suddenly scared of my new empowered energy & they backed away out of my life, without even having to say the things that I had practised with my counsellor. It was working! Next I had to change my story. My story was one of the victim overcoming, of the phoenix rising. My story was all about healing from the old story. Even my business was all about that too. Yesterday my tattoo was finished, it's a phoenix. The time was right to have this reminder of the story that I have left behind. Because there has to be an end to it. There has to be a new story. A new story has to take its place for the healing to be completed. I am no longer living the story of the abused one who overcame, that story has ended now & they all lived happily ever after. I am now starting to live the story of an empowered woman starting her new life at age 47, with big dreams, unlimited potential, with strong boundaries, knowing what she wants, unwilling to accept anything less from anyone, addiction-free, a life of excellence, of the best. I know that the abuse won't happen again, because people have tried to abuse me recently & I have drawn up strong boundaries to them immediately. I now recognise those who aren't loving themselves & so who are capable of abuse, it shows obviously in addictions. When people show me who they are I believe them instantly now, I set my boundaries because I know that I deserve the best. I know that rape won't happen again because I am strong & no longer open to being abused. I know that I am free of this story now because I can deal with everyone random situation life throws at me with strength & empowerment. There are a few common tales being lived: The victim's tale is a terrible story, it's hard, it's depressing, it's not inspiring, it's like a bottomless pit. The medical drama tale is similar to the victims story, it's just a more specific tale of woe. The hero's tale (otherwise known as the Phoenix rising tale) is an interesting story, it's one that many choose, I chose it, it's dramatic, but the adversity is hard to take & you have a lot of healing to do from it. Although the healing leads to rewards which are great, there has to be an end to this story. The happily ever after tale is a different story, it's a new one, it is no longer about overcoming adversity, it is about a whole new creation. It's unique to you & what you want to experience. What would you like to come after the hero's tale? You are the writer & the director of your life. You can continue telling the old story or you can write a new one & choose who you want to play the parts in that new story. What story have you been living? What story would you like to live now? Share your old & your new story in the comments below  I'm Claire Louise Hay, I help you claim your true power to manifest the life of your dreams through self-awareness and alignment with your higher self. Want to work with me? Click here to find out how!  It was 1992, I had just graduated university in England, 8 month's pregnant & alone, I could no longer trust my boyfriend of 6 years so I had ended the relationship. I had finished a temporary job that I had taken because being a student before you get pregnant meant that you don't qualify for maternity benefits, only those who were unemployed or employed did. I had to work until they would no longer let me work. After my son was born I got financial help from the government, it wasn't much but it was enough to live off for which I was grateful but I knew that things had to change. I just couldn't remain stuck in this poverty trap, I knew I deserved better. Little did I know that things were about to get much, much worse. I applied for entry level graduate jobs & landed myself one. The wages only just covered my 1 room apartment rent & childcare costs. I knew I had to do it anyway to get myself out of this situation. I was determined to do whatever it took to set myself free, to have the income that both me & my son deserved. What it took was: getting a pushbike & having a baby seat fixed to the back. Riding my son to the childminder, then racing the journey to work that would have taken anyone less desperate at least 25 minutes. Working a 7 hour day only taking a 30 minute lunch break. Racing back to the childminder because if she worked more than 7 hours she charged overtime rates which I didn't have. Getting us home to feed & bathe my son before putting him to bed. Eating white bread with a slice of ham & mayonnaise for dinner. It took me going from my usual 58kg down to 44 kg. It took me walking out of work slamming doors after asking for raise & being told that if I was "serious" about this job then I would put more hours in! (even though I told HIM about my situation) It took every ounce of my energy, fat, determination & will power, then I got a raise. The raise that allowed me to eat & for me to be healthy again instead of just making sure my son was healthy. I shed a tear writing that, taking myself back there. They were the hardest of times. I am also proud of myself for those times. That raise was the start of many. Over the next few years I not only earned plenty but I also invested wisely & grew my money significantly. 8 years & 2 more children later I left that same job because I had achieved everything society told me would make me happy & I wasn't happy. I had the money, I had the job which I only worked school term time so that I could spend time with my children. I had a few holidays a year. I had a new car. I had a big house. I had it all, but I felt so empty inside. The life I was living wasn't fulfilling me. I made a brave decision & gave it all up. I needed to follow a new path. I started meditating & got onto the path of a deeper more fulfilling life. Unfortunately, for my financial wellbeing only, this path had me reading spiritual books that told me that I should be of service to others, that I shouldn't want things for myself, that this would happen naturally as a result of helping others. It didn't. It was a lie. Unfortunately I was around spiritual people who were abundantly challenged, who told me I shouldn't be doing anything for myself, that I would get my reward after I die (this sounds so ridiculous to me now it makes me laugh). But laugh as I might now, I believed it all back then. I went from being wealthy to having nothing, literally nothing. Because I love helping others with my gift this nothingness stuck with me for many years, only just getting by, thinking that if I just help others my reward will come some time, some time soon maybe universe, sometime before I have to pay this bill universe? I was missing something fundamental, something that I had realised way back in 1992, that I deserved better, that I deserved financial plenty for ME, for MYSELF, for MY life, for MY enjoyment, for MY wellbeing, for ME. I had spent years trying to barter with the universe, pretending like everyone else was more deserving than me "I'll help hundreds of people, just please help me pay this one bill" & I did! I was so depleted, surrounded by people that needed help, both in my professional life & in my personal life. It was exhausting. But still I didn't get that I needed to know that I deserved it, I needed to want it for ME Every time I was guided to look at my reasons for wanting money the spiritual guilt would come out from hiding & I would try to find more righteous reasons for wanting the money "I'll give it away", "I'll help many people with it", "I'll help the needy" always thinking that everyone else was more deserving than I was. These spiritual beliefs about money crippled me for so many years. I could clearly see when it had happened, when the money stopped growing & rapidly started to disappear, but I couldn't pin it down to the actual belief that had caused me to only just survive again... until I did. In 2012 I published my first book "The Healing Path Within" I meditated to talk to my guides & said "Great! Now I can help millions of people!" my higher self said "Not likely, you won't allow the results of it back" That was a punch in the gut, but I knew it was true. Why would a book help when everything else I had done hadn't helped? So over the last 6 years I have focused on healing my abundance, on questioning my beliefs about abundance, on releasing past money memories, blocks & raising my abundance consciousness. The final step was to recognise that I deserve plenty for ME, for MY life, for MYSELF. What beliefs hold your greater abundance away? Comment below  I'm Claire Louise Hay, I help you claim your true power to manifest the life of your dreams through self-awareness and alignment with your higher self. Want to work with me? Click here to find out how! How many of these messages have you heard throughout your life? Giving is better than receiving. Be of service & you will receive what you want back. Give to others what you want to receive for yourself. Put others first & yourself last. To quote Dr Phil "How's that working for you?" It didn't work for me, I didn't receive what I wanted by doing that. I continuously attracted people who wanted to take from me, people who would never give back to me. Nobody else seemed to put me first whilst I was putting them first. The problem with putting other people first is you teach them that you come second,... or last. Another problem with putting other people first is that you are cutting yourself off from your guidance system. In order to be attuned to your guidance system you need to put your feelings first. You can't put others feelings first because you don't know what their feelings are, you can't feel for them. You can guess their feelings but it is always a guess through your own personal filters & unique combination of life experiences & baggage. Your own feelings, however, tell you exactly how aligned you are in your life with the path that you really want to be on. Feel bad then you are not in alignment with what you want. Feel good then you are in alignment with what you want. Often when we put other's feelings first we miss the mark. They didn't ask us to put them first & didn't ask for the sacrifice (our own needs) that we made for what we thought they might want. Putting other's first is a big judgment that they can't access their guidance system, they can't look after themselves & they need some kind of help from someone who is better than them. Not so helpful. You're in a unique position to feel your own feelings, you know yourself better than anyone, you know what your needs & desires are. You are the only one with the creative power to have your needs & desires met. Nobody else can do that for you & you can't do it for anyone else. So how about we all concern ourselves with ourselves? Put our own feelings, needs & desires first. Help someone else out when they ask for help & ask for help from others when we need it. We could also forgive others for not having been able to guess what we wanted & create that for us. We can forgive ourselves for having tried the impossible task of creating in someone else's life, too.  I'm Claire Louise Hay, I help you claim your true power to manifest the life of your dreams through self-awareness and alignment with your higher self. Want to work with me? Click here to find out how! |
Be Healing!
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