I had an ah ha moment today.
It was revealed to me through a judgment of someone else that had been praying on my mind for some time, but I hadn't brought this judgment into my fully conscious mind to pick it apart and find out what it was trying to tell me about myself ... until today.
If you're on Facebook I'm sure you've had this experience before: whenever you see a certain person's posts, they always seem to be negative and draining.
A Facebook friend of mine was constantly posting negatively about her ex and if she wasn't doing that she would be posting about her current partner and how she could get her own way with him when he wanted something different.
As a survivor of a few control freaks these posts triggered me every time I saw them. I feel sorry for her ex who she is trying to manipulate and I feel sorry for her current relationship which in all likelihood won't end well.
So today I decided enough was enough - I don't need to read such negativity every day, so I unfriended her.
I meditated on what this had been teaching me about myself. I know it's all about me - there is nothing that happens in my life that is about anyone else really.
It was obvious I was being triggered because of a similar experience with my ex trying to manipulate and control me in the same way through our children but there was something running much deeper than this, I just knew it!
Here's the thing: she is a successful empowerment coach, yet she is clearly showing traits of someone that is disempowered, so she is still on her own journey to empowerment.
There it was! I had found my real judgment!
I believed that she didn't deserve success because she hadn't mastered what she was teaching yet.
I believed that in order to teach I needed to be perfect, that I needed to have mastered what I'm teaching in myself first before I am worthy of success - I have been holding myself to such strict and high standards that I can never live up to because life is a path of constant growth, it's never done, perfection and mastery is unattainable.
I have been holding success away from me all of this time because of this faulty belief.
In my conscious mind I already knew:
- Life is a path of constant growth and we are never done.
- Everyone is deserving all of the time.
- Success is available to everyone without proving we are worthy enough.
But there was a contradictory habitual emotional belief about myself that had me not only judging myself as flawed and therefore not worthy but also judging successful people for their flaws.
I did some EFT tapping on it to release it. Thank you Brad Yates!
I kept hearing my mother say "You didn't deserve that." every time anything good happened to me, released that!
I wrote out some new affirmations:
- I am worthy already
- I don't need to be perfect
- I can be successful now
- Everyone can be successful now and at every point on their own healing/empowerment paths
- Nobody needs to be perfect
- I rock
- I now allow the work (books, programs, meditations, products) that I have already done to help those that they can help
- I now allow my brilliant work to be successful
- I deserve it!
I feel so much better. I feel free of chains.
And although I am grateful for the lesson my ex-Facebook friend gave me I still don't want to read those negative posts every day!
You too can use this technique whenever you feel judgmental of someone or something keeps bugging you, delve deeper at what the faulty belief is behind it all
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