How others treat you is totally up to you
This means that how others treat you is totally up to you.
Your ego might want to tell you that you're the victim & that everyone else is the problem, but ask try this:
Name one person that you really respect & value
Hard to imagine isn't it? In fact it's hard to imagine anybody doing that to them, because these people have a self-respect, self-worth & self-confidence that always attracts its mirror from others.
Don't wait for someone else to tell you your value
Imagine you are the person who everyone respects & values
How would you feel about yourself?
How would you be around other people?
The truth is that these feelings of self-respect, self-worth & self-confidence come from actions that are taken in daily life that respect, value & appreciate yourSELF.
So rather than waiting to feel self-respect before you will start to respect yourself, start doing things to respect yourself.
You might have always put others needs or wishes before your own, putting yourself at the back of the line. You might start to put your needs first, putting yourself at the front of the line & then look after others if they ask you to. In other words, putting your oxygen mask on first.
You might have been giving to others even though you feel depleted. You might want to only give to others when you feel like you have plenty to give, so first give to yourself & do the things that fill you up.
You might have been upset when others criticise you & tried to argue with them to defend yourself. You might want to tell those who criticise you "That hurts me, why are you trying to make me feel bad about myself?" then choose to be around those who appreciate you instead.
You might have accepted all kinds of bad behaviour from others that makes you feel bad. You might want to say "No" & walk away from them.
You might have accepted the crumbs from others, been hyper grateful when anyone does the slightest thing for you, when someone gives you a little attention, when someone gives back at all, when someone says one nice thing to you in the middle of criticising you. You might want to decide that you will only accept the best from others & start giving yourself the best. You might want to learn to ignore others unless they are truly loving you how you deserve to be loved, treating you how you deserve to be treated, respected how you deserve to be respected, valued how you deserve to be valued,...
Take a step back
If in doubt, step back. If you're not sure if someone is treating you how you deserve to be treated, don't retaliate, don't argue, don't respond at all, just take a step back. If you're not sure if someone is able to give you the love, respect, value & appreciation that you deserve, take a step back. Give yourself this space to decide for yourself if this is good enough for you. Give them the space to think if they really want to have you in their lives & how they might treat you differently if they decide that they do. That goes for friends, family, colleagues, bosses, partners, clients,.. it goes for everyone.
What & who can you take a step back from?
What situations aren't the best for you that you can take a step back from?
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