I gave myself a break from blogging & I got so much from the break, I just had to tell you all about it!
I reached rock bottom, I'm talking lower than I've ever been before. I'm talking on the brink of suicide. As I questioned my need to give give give I realised that I had to stop, just stop giving, in order to find a way to receive.
I thought that stopping giving meant stopping what I do, it was that thought that took me to the brink of suicide. My work is WHO I AM. Without it there is no need for me to be here.
So I stopped for a while & asked for donations to get me through, Only 2 of you donated, so great is my block to receiving.
I needed change & I needed it fast. I screamed out for help from the universe & fast track rapid fire guidance was given.
I've been having multiple ah-ha's, I'm talking about 3 a day for the last few weeks.
Having so many breakthroughs is amazing but exhausting!
So I continued to give myself a break. I figured that I don't need to do everything. It's enough that I am having multiple ah-ha's. It's enough to work on myself.
I have said enough. I have done enough. I have been creative enough. I have loved enough. I am enough.
I don't need to do any more.
A wonderful thing happened in this break that I gave myself. I got clarity.
I decided to let go of everything I have done - hence the clearance sale of all of my old work. I cried. I put so much love, creativity, passion, time, money, energy, my heart, my soul, my spiritual teams work into those programs and I had received so little from them, I grieved for them, but I still let them go - much to the chagrin of those who have done the programs and rave about them.
I got to the point where I no longer felt the resentment for doing so much work unrewarded, I no longer felt the disappointment of wasted efforts, I no longer felt the grief of love lost.
Then something amazing happened.
I was shown a way to receive from all of that work, it was not lost after all. I just needed to let go on a much deeper level than I ever have before I could allow myself to receive from it.
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