 I owed myself the biggest apology for accepting what I didn't deserve. I was going through life accepting whatever life threw at me, presuming that everything was a positive match for me if it was right in front of me, having no discernment, making no good choices for myself. I was just putting up with what life gave me & I was often disappointed. I wondered why the universe thought I was a match to people who didn't respect me, who didn't treat me well. (watch this week's guidance video about letting go of the old stories about disrespect) When I had finally had enough of it & retreated back to myself, away from people, to get clear on what I wanted, it all became clear to me. In that alone time, which took months, when I took care of myself to the highest standard I have ever taken care of myself, I got clear on what I wanted & what I deserved in my life. You see I am great, I'm really great. I started to imagine what it would be like to be in a relationship with ME, with someone just like ME, to receive the love & care that I give in relationships. I started to imagine what it would be like to receive all of the love that I give out into the world back, to the same level, in my business, in my social life, in my relationships, from the whole universe. It felt so good that I was clear that this was what I wanted. If I exist, then other people that are like me exist. The universe doesn't ever make one thing alone & leave it to wither & die because it doesn't have more of its kind to reproduce with, to create with. This is nature! I waited, I was clear & I started making good decisions for myself, I started not only to say no to what I didn't want but to clearly show that I would not tolerate that disrespect. I was stronger in myself, in being myself, without caring about what anyone else wanted from me, because I knew what I wanted. Little by little I started attracting more of my kind & life has never felt so good as it does right now. Let go of your old stories of disrespect & tell your story of what you truly want then wait firm for it. What do you really deserve in your life? Tell us in the comments  I'm Claire Louise Hay, I help you claim your true power to manifest the life of your dreams through self-awareness and alignment with your higher self.
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I have talked to thousands of higher selves in my readings & this subject comes up again & again. It comes up a lot for women, but it also comes up in men's readings too. I'm talking about trying to unconditionally love turning into unwanted & even painful experiences. Unconditional love isn't ... ... tolerating ... being a doormat ... people pleasing ... putting other people's feelings/desires/needs first ... being loving to people who aren't being loving All of the above behaviour is pandering to other people's egos. It's trying to please the un-alignment in others. It's trading your self-love for their ego. It's not really loving them at all & it definitely isn't loving you. In an ideal world we would all love everyone else unconditionally. But this can only be done when you love yourself unconditionally first - show me one person on this planet who can do this! Conditionally love your way to self love So when you think "This person loves me so I should love them" & you feel bad, because you don't actually like them & they hurt you & your heart is telling you that it doesn't love them. Listen to your hearts truth. Love yourself instead. When you think "I'm going to love this (unlovable) person until I get back the love that I want" & you feel bad, you never feel enough, you don't receive the love back from them & your heart is telling you to walk away. Listen to your hearts truth. Love yourself instead. When you think "If I give this person what they want, if I focus on their needs & meet them, they will be happy & then someone will make me happy too" & you feel bad, you feel resentful, you feel unappreciated, you feel empty, you feel like nobody is giving you what you need & your heart says stop. Listen to your hearts truth. Love yourself instead. When you think "If I love this person enough they will heal/stop their abusive behaviour/change" & you feel bad, you get hurt, you get abused, you get blamed & your heart says run a mile! Listen to your hearts truth. Love yourself instead. Unconditional love is ... ... loving despite conditions ... not trying to change anyone so that you can feel better ... being discerning ... loving their essence, not their ego It's hard enough to learn how to do this for ourselves, never mind to do it for someone else. So this is why trying to unconditionally love before you unconditionally love yourself backfires, it's actually all ego based, not heart based at all. To be heart based requires you to learn to listen to your heart & love yourself first.  I'm Claire Louise Hay, I help you claim your true power to manifest the life of your dreams through self-awareness and alignment with your higher self. Want to work with me? Click here to find out how!  I have been on a wild ride over the last few weeks. As many of you know I live in constant communication with the universe & don't take any action until it's inspired action. About 6 weeks ago my guides told me that there was no more growth to be had for either of us in our blissfully happy relationship. It was a shock. Click here for more details about that story. We decided to make the split as easy on both of us as possible & share our house for 6 more weeks until the lease had finished. Those 6 weeks were awesome, because it allowed me to really investigate the patterns that had been going on, how Jarrod had been affecting my energy, what I had taken on that wasn't mine, what I had left out that was ME. It allowed us both to process the emotions step by step & work through whatever came up. Is it the easiest way to split up? No, it's just as hard as every other way. Would I do it this way again? Yes, because there will be little left to heal & clear up around this afterwards, whereas the "normal" way of breaking up, you know the one, you wait until it has all turned to shit so you can justify doing it without feeling too much guilt & you store up all of that crap within yourself to be healed in the coming years when you want a relationship next but the wounds of the break up are still lurking & festering. With 3 weeks to go Jarrod looked for & found an apartment to move into. With 2 weeks to go I finally had the guidance to look for a place of my own, a song popped into my head called Reach for the Stars "there's a place, waiting just for you, it's a special place where your dreams all come true" Sure enough, there was the perfect place for me & the real estate wanted to give it to me. I applied along with my friend Susan who will be sharing this place with me. I didn't hear anything back from them. I had full faith that everything would work out just perfectly. So with 2 days to go until the moving date I called the real estate saying time is running out, I need to organise removalists etc. He said that he hadn't heard from the owners but will let me know today. That week was a stressful one, with all of my faith & courage I still couldn't disconnect myself from the stress of moving, of uncertainty, of everything that needed to be done, of time running out, but I got through it & I didn't sabotage it by panicking & settling for anything less than the ease that I deserve. I received an email from him saying the owners have decided that the place isn't available until next month now! I quickly got onto the phone to my current real estate agent to make sure that I wouldn't be made homeless tomorrow, and no, she doesn't have anyone for this place yet so I can stay until I find somewhere. A thought passed through my mind "What did I do wrong? Why has it gone wrong?" But then I realised, nothing has gone wrong. In fact this is as right as it gets! I have been put into the situation where I am free & totally available (& packed) to move at any time now. This means that the universe can give me ANYTHING. The doors are open to bigger & better solutions than ever right now. It also means that I get to experience this emotional grief period fully without doing doing doing through it & ignoring my emotions. So I'm open, I'm ready, I'm excited, I'm releasing everything that this crazy new moon eclipse is showing me that isn't actually ME anymore. ME being the fullest most whole every part of me included no wrongness no judgments all perfection me. I'm bringing back all aspects of myself that I put on a shelf for the relationship that I was in (oh no I did that again...) And I'm ready! Bring it on Universe!  I'm Claire Louise Hay, I help you claim your true power to manifest the life of your dreams through self-awareness and alignment with your higher self. Want to work with me? Click here to find out how!  2 weeks ago Jarrod & I went to Brisbane for the day. We had so much fun & I never felt more in love & happy. Whilst we were there I kept seeing road signs flashing up "EXPECT CHANGE" & I got excited because I have been asking for big things. Exactly 1 week later I received the guidance that our relationship was over. Specifically that there was no more growth for either of us available in this relationship. I went into shock. I asked for confirmation. I did 1001 readings on it. It was confirmed over & over again. It was true. Jarrod taught me the art of emotional communication for which I will be eternally grateful. I summoned up all of my courage & I told him the guidance I was given. For the next 2 days we were both in denial. Jarrod seemed to forget what I had said. I wanted to ignore it & carry on in our wonderful lives together. I knew we needed to talk about it again so I summoned up all of my courage & we talked & we cried together. Jarrod said he had had the feeling 6 months ago that he was holding me back now & we needed to part ways, but he didn't trust that guidance. I had had no idea. The grief that lasted 2 days was centred around our attachment to each other. Our shared dreams that would be lost, Our mutual emotional support of each other. Our inspiration for each other. We realised that none of this would be lost. We would still be each others emotional support. We would still inspire each other. We would still achieve our dreams, only not together. We realised that we weren't losing our love for each other, but we were just transitioning the relationship into friendship. That eased our hearts. As I slowly detached from this relationship (we agreed to take it slow & as easy as possible for each other) I felt my self love rising up. I had gone into this relationship believing that Jarrod was my forever soul mate & I am glad that I did that. Because of that belief I put my whole heart & soul into the relationship & I would not change a thing, not in this relationship or my next. We are loving each other & letting each other go. It's actually much easier than holding onto a relationship until it turns to shit & then dumping it all & disconnecting completely. I know. That's what I used to do. That's what most people do. But you don't need to wait until relationships turn to shit. You don't need to wait until you hate them. You can act on the first inkling or guidance that it's over & you can let go. You do not need to justify the release to anyone else but each other, and 2 self aware people in a relationship will both know the truth in it. As I detached I realised just how much of myself I was putting aside in order to put our relationship first. It was time to reconnect to me. It was time to love all of myself including those parts I had placed on the shelf for this relationship. My heart expanded. I feel better about myself than I ever have. I am owning & loving every part of me without shame, guilt or apology. I am *so* grateful for the past 6 years together. They have truly been the best years of my life. I am excited that this ending means that there are even better times on the way. I realised that I have always been masculine in every relationship I ever had. I was taught that I had to be masculine to achieve anything good in this world as a child, so I became masculine like almost every other woman on this planet today. Many of you will know that it has been my focus since my mid 20's to find out what it is to be feminine, empowered feminine. There were no examples not in history nor around me. I looked far & wide. I only found women being masculine to achieve empowerment. So this journey needed to come from within me (as so many do). I have spent the last 2 years focused on changing my business so that I can be feminine in it & I have achieved that. Now it's time to do the same thing within my relationships. I connected in with what I really want from a relationship next, in order for me to grow. This is what I want & what I have never yet experienced: A man who is like me in many ways. He's creative, he's successful, he's accomplished, he's a leader in his field, he is abundant, he cares about the world, he wants to change the world for the better in a big way, he looks after himself, he exercises, he eats nutritious food, he has passion, he has drive, he has motivation, he takes the lead, he is not afraid to show the world who he is & to go for whatever he wants. A man who is my compliment. He's masculine, he is probably frustrated at being with masculine women & has decided he wants an empowered woman who inspires him but who can also be feminine & let him take the lead, he wants to be the protector & giver, he wants to be appreciated for every part of him & what he has accomplished. He wants a woman who will love him, guide him & be offer him the feminine support so that he can stand in his masculine power & focus on what he wants to accomplish. A man who will stretch me into learning how to receive & be taken care of. I see this dynamic very clearly & the kind of man that my soul mate is. & I'm ready, every single part of me is ready. I'm excited for my next life unfoldment. I'm a bit scared as to how receiving from a man will make me feel (vulnerable) but I want to feel that & work through it. This morning after my workout, swim & meditation, I had a song in my head "The Power of Love" specifically this part of it: 'Cause I am your lady and you are my man Whenever you reach for me, I'll do all that I can We're heading for something Somewhere I've never been, sometimes I am frightened But I'm ready to learn 'bout the power of love.  I'm Claire Louise Hay, I help you claim your true power to manifest the life of your dreams through self-awareness and alignment with your higher self. Want to work with me? Click here to find out how!  There are 2 types of romantic relationships: Lesson relationships and Soul Mate relationships. Lesson relationships come into your life to teach you something. You attract them into your life to match your energy at that time. Your match comes in for you to teach them the lesson that they need, and for them to teach you the lesson that you need. These relationships are supposed to come and go. They are generally of short duration 1-7 years. Although many people try to hold onto these relationships for longer and they try to make them work. Many people make the mistake of marrying a lesson relationship. This happens because the lesson is so familiar to us. It feels like home because it has generally come from repeating our parent’s lessons. We feel safe in this relationship, even if the relationship is not particularly safe for us. It feels like love because the lesson has been connected with our idea of love in the past. But this isn’t true love, yet it is a love lesson. It’s our role in these relationships to learn from them and understand what true love is from them. They are our guides to show us where our relationship issues lie. They are stepping stones to finding the soul mate relationship. Lesson relationships are supposed to last for the duration of the lesson and then be released. As you grow emotionally and spiritually in life you will grow in different directions from these partners. This is because you have opposite lessons to learn in a lesson relationship. So when the learning is underway or completed they will no longer match you, they will oppose you. There was only ever a mismatch in the first place, but the right mismatch for you both at that time so that you could learn from each other. Lesson relationships are never wasted relationships. They take you one step closer to your soul mate relationship. Even if you decided not to learn the lesson in that relationship and then recreate the same issue in the following relationships 10 times over, they are still not wasted, because they are showing you this aspect of yourself. The more ingrained the issue is the more examples you might need to be shown. Just as you might think you have dealt with a lesson and healed it, you might find that it comes up again with a different face on it, or in a slightly different way, so that you can fully practise you learning. Each lesson relationship is a gift. Lesson relationships are never failures. Soul Mate relationships however, are our spirit’s match. These are the relationships that we attract when we have finished our lesson relationships. This is the partner who not only matches us perfectly but who is also going in the same spiritual direction as us too. This is the partner that we are not going to grow apart from. This is the partner whose hand we will be holding when we are old and grey. The honeymoon phase doesn’t exist in Soul Mate relationships it goes on forever. There are no lessons in this relationship. There are no challenges in this relationship. There are no compromises in this relationship. There is no working at this relationship. This is the relationship that is perfect for us in every way. This is the person who will love everything about us, the beauty, the flaws, our light and our dark side. This is the person that we will love completely too, their beauty, their flaws, their light and their dark sides. This is the one that we have unconditional love with. There is no “putting up”with anything in this relationship. It’s smooth sailing. This is the relationship that gives us full support. This is the relationship that we can completely relax in. This is the partner that will love our authentic selves. We don’t need to be on our guard at all with this person. This is the partner that will not try to change us in any way. This is the partner that we will not want to change in any way. This is the partner that we will want to love and support. This is the relationship that is balanced between giving and receiving. This is the relationship where you agree on the important things. This is the relationship where you can read each other’s minds because you share the same mind. In this relationship you will find you have so many things in common. In this relationship you have shared so many similar experiences in the past, you have been travelling along parallel paths learning similar lessons in your relationship journey to find each other. In this relationship you can trust fully, there is no jealousy. This person will have all the things that you want in a partner plus all the things that you never even thought that you’d want in a partner. They are THE ONE for you. Perfect in every way for you.  I'm Claire Louise Hay, I help you claim your true power to manifest the life of your dreams through self-awareness and alignment with your higher self. Want to work with me? Click here to find out how! |
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