I have spent the last 15 years actively (spending most of my time focused on this) healing from my abuse. I started to read the first Fifty Shades of Grey book a few months ago. It bored me. I didn't finish it.
I found the writing style to be silly & superficial. I found the characters to be messed up but with the narrative going into too little depth about them to make it interesting (I am interested in healing & the mind).
It didn't trigger me at all. Even though this book & film is full of abuse of almost every single kind, it didn't trigger me. This tells me that I have healed from my abuse.
I spent much of last night reading emotional reaction blogs to the film & the books from victims of abuse who have been triggered by this. It is stirring up all kinds of unresolved abuse issues in people who have not yet healed from their abuse.
That this film & books are triggering abuse issues in survivors is potentially dangerous to their emotional & mental safety. I would encourage all survivors of abuse to seek support from a professional if you have been triggered by this. Use it as a opportunity to heal these wounds, it is possible to completely heal from them, I am living proof of that.
That this film & books are teaching women & girls that abuse is OK & even glamorous is of concern.
That this film & books are teaching men that abuse is OK & even what women might want is of great concern.
Let's hope that this global triggering of abuse issues will move us forward as a society where abuse is not acceptable to anybody. Where women can be heard, can feel safe in standing up for themselves & can let the pain out. Where men are taught to open their hearts & actually feel their emotions instead of pushing their emotions down & numbing them, which causes them to be able to do all kinds of things that their emotional guidance system is supposed to stop them from doing.
Let's hope that this global triggering of abuse issues leads to a global healing from abuse.
Claire Louise Hay
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